In advance, I am apologizing. Yes, here I am with yet another post about commenters over at Philly.com. You see, there have been severe cutbacks at Churchco Global Worldwide Entertainment Concerns, Ltd. (the parent company of Get Off the Internet) and I’m pretty much the only guy who comes into the office occasionally, to make sure the thieving bastards from the law office upstairs have not broken in to steal the copier and assorted office equipment. Add to this my rather limited skillset for covering these things, this is what you get. Also, it is free, so there you go.

Okay- unpleasantness out of the way. Philadelphia jazz vocalist S. Denise King is suing a local hospital, claiming that “shocking sensations” during an MRI scan in 2008 have left her without the ability to remember any new music. She is seeking $50 grand in damages. Something for the courts to decide, but that can take months or years! BORINNNNGGGGG. Let’s turn it over to the Court of Public Opinion!

Jerryk2b tries to start things off with a joke-

Is the attorney with the firm “How Dowe cheatem” or “Dowe Cheatem & Howe”?

So very, very close. This is the internet- surely, there must be someone out there waiting to help with this old chestnut?

Jerry…….that would be the lawfirm of “Dewey, Cheatem & Howe” Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

Pretty good, but that’s not “internet helping.”

jerryk2b – it’s “Dewey”, dummy.

There we go!

Her bookings must be down. She is losing her “short term memory”, but remembers every iota of information aboutthe MRI. Go figure. Just another attempt at a cheap payday.

I got’s me a case….typical

Huh- that’s not a direct quote from the story. I wonder why they wrote it like that?

Its gottsta be someones fault, certainly can’t be this Nubian goddess’s.

i love black people,show me the money.

See? Subtlety is for the weak!

This has “scam” written all over it.

Has anyone actually heard this singer perform? I have and, frankly, I can understand why she went to this length to gain some notoriety.

Singing the blues while eyeing the green. Shocking!

She needed the MRI to plan treatment after she ate a hand grenade.

Would the comments be different if it were Taylor Swift!

Maybe they told her it was an MRI but it was really electroshock therapy?

when sales go down lawsuits go up

theBIGKAT, yeah the comments would be different if the singer was someone famous like Taylor Swift or Beyonce. Nice bait though.

another Fat American

Sorry Kingsy, “Money For Nothing” has already been done by Dire Straits…

Case closed!



So- I get in this morning, fire up the ol’ Twitter-reading machine and there’s a post from Mr. Dan McQuade-

Philly.com: “Racoons and bats and other critters are on the loose!” First Philly.com commenter: “I hate black people!”

“Why,” I think to myself, “that can’t be right! Even over there, at Philly.com! Young Dan must certainly be engaging in some sort of wild hyperbole!”

Let’s just go over to the article and see!

Raccoons, bats, possums: It’s Critter City

ROBINSON STREET above Lansdowne Avenue, in Overbrook, is under siege.

Raccoons, among a burgeoning population of wildlife that infests much of the city, are so audacious on the street that they’re trying to get in people’s windows.

At least that’s the way it seems to worried residents.

How- HOW could anyone possibly be able to take that and turn it around into a racist comment? Let alone in the very first post?

Now, I’m not saying it can’t be done, but it would require such herculean racist internet commenting skill that it would be beyond even the reach of the a skilled Philly.com commenter- and this is a very capable bunch in that area, I can assure you!

Alright, let’s just see this supposed racist first comm-

gobirds556
at least these “pests” do not steal taxpayer money while supposedly heading a government agency. they do not kill each other over drugs or $5. all those scumbags should be euthanized. what do animals do other then just try to survive? Leave them alone.

Oh. Well. It would appear that I have underestimated the skills of Philly.com commenters. I offer my deepest apologies. I can assure you that it won’t happen again.

Also, bonus points for being both an Eagles fan and wanting to murder! Bravo, (I’m assuming) sir!



The Gallery at Market East in Philadelphia’s Center City is an odd piece of urban design. Built in the late 1970s to compete with shoppers and stores flocking to the city’s suburbs, it sits on East Market Street with its bare concrete walls facing the street, taking up several blocks between the heart of the city’s downtown and one of the country’s most important historic sites, Independence Hall.

Here’s the thing though- it does rather well. It was constructed on a vital rail transit hub, connects to the convention center, vacancy rates are typically low and the profits are amongst the highest for its management company’s shopping centers. It may be a poorly-designed piece of the urban fabric, but it serves its purpose- it’s a place to shop that lots of people use.

Many in Philadelphia, however, do not see it that way, as an article in the Daily News points out. Of course, the attendant comments section is cram-packed with the type of intelligent discourse that’s the hallmark of Philly.com commenters.

A big part of the problem is that there are virtually no stores that attact an upscale shopper. K-mart, gamestop, and payless do nothing to draw the shoppers who frequent the numerous stores on chesnut and walnut street. Even a target or a best buy would do a lot to improve the shopping there. Its a fair point that the subterranean atmosphere of the Gallery hurts it. Most of the store entrances don’t really give a sense of whats inside. There are too many blank walls and wide open escalator banks, limiting store space. Too much closes early, making it more difficult to accomplish its goal of having city workers shop before getting on the train.

Okay, nice- thinking about it from somewhat of a planning perspective. Maybe this won’t be so bad, after-

Let’s just be honest. The problem is “urban” teens running wild through the Gallery.

Alright, then. See if you can read through there and count how many times “urban” is used as a code word for another word that is in these folks’ heads, hm?

the world’s worst mcdonalds is located in that place…on second thought, it’s the second worst after the one at 30th street station. it’s good to see im busy on a monday morning rating mcdonalds restaurants…sincerely myspace.com/dannyozark

When I moved to CC in ’79 I found the Gallery depressing and dirty. Now, I am older and fearful of the youth crowds and lack of perceived security presence. I live 5 blocs away and wouldn’t shop there if it was the last place on earth. And, now with the Internet, I can get anything I need online with a delivery charge that is often less than the cab ride to the Gallery and that means Macy’s too. I do, however, still shop and eat at the Reading Terminal Market.

The gallery is your typical ‘urban’ mall. Nothing but baby clothes and sneaker stores!

Just let the cops put a few beatings on the teenagers, who should be in school,loitering down there. A few broken facial bones will set them straight. Police brutality…. WORKS!!!!

I can sort of imagine the PSA with that tagline from the early 80s.

Take the subway to gamble and leave (supposedly) with winnings in your pocket. I hope they’ll be handing out signs for people to wear coming and going: PLEASE MUG ME!

Oh- did I mention that there are plans to maybe turn part of it into a slots casino? Well, there are.

What is so funny is the people who agree here as to what the problem is tend to vote for the same people that the parent(s) of these thugs vote for. WAKE UP will you!!!!!!

Its a mall for the gangsta’s and their Ho’s…nothing more…wouldnt dream of entering that building again…ever..

The Gallery is just a huge toilet. And what can you find in a toilet ? Time for a courtesy flush.

What this article is trying to say is that the Gallery has too many young Black ghetto people that shop there. Lets not pretend that Phila isn’t segregated along class and racial lines. ‘Certain’ people only shop and live in ‘certain’ areas. End of story. I don’t like shopping in malls at all. With the Gallery none of the stores attract me, parking sucks, and I can’t stand teenagers (of any race).

The Gal-ree is the laughing stock of all the “malls” within 25 miles of it. Can it even be considered a mall? It’s a shame that people walking through there from the regional rails have to witness the decadence and despair of the people that populate that area. From the crack-moms to the homeless to the downright nutty. After experiencing that kind of sadness who in their right mind would want to spend their money there? Nobody wants to shop there for fear of getting mugged. Really, the only people not afraid to shop there are people who are used to being in a “dangerous” area.

I have to say- the only reason I’m able to shop at the Gallery is because of my years on the mean streets of Webberville, Michigan.  Also- “downright nutty?” That makes me think of Thorny, the neighbor on Ozzie and Harriet.

Philly has to become more like NYC, where shops are privately owned and operated. The experiment of having government owned properties provide stores and shopping to the masses is too Soviet to be workable.

Brief aside: The city’s Redevelopment Authority (RDA) owns the property, which is then leased to a management company who oversees the mall. Very Soviet. What with the large private real estate developer running the thing and all.

The city of Philly tried to be a shopping mall provider using CC to service the inner city, but the RDA as owner of all this property like the Gallery is not practical. The RDA simply has shops and stalls that cater to the lowest common denominator, creating a creepy vibe like t-shirt stalls where you can get a death memoriam t-shirt airbrushed, aka “RIP RASHEED.”

No, the NBA rescinded those last two technicals. He’s fine.

the only problem with wiping out the gallery is where will all those sorry people go if there’s nothing there? that’s right, the real malls.

Dun-Dun-DUNNNNN.

Let’s end on a positive note, though. RowingMan seems to have his hand up. Perhaps he has a suggestion about how the retail mix at the mall could be diversified, or perhaps some sort of plan to rebuild the building’s facade to open it up a bit more, or maybe he’s been reading up on Jane Jacobs and her theories about continuity of the street-

There was a women who shot up the Delco Springfield Mall with multiple weapons in the mid 80′s. If she’s still around, why don’t we let her out (of prison) and she can patrol the Gallery – it’s gotta work better than today’s situation.




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