this thing is so funny, now someone need to make a movie


by CM

As regurgitated on the internet everywhere, “Armored truck robber uses Craigslist to make getaway“. But has anybody made fun of the comments for that article yet? No. Of course not. That’s why you need Get Off the Internet. We bring the good shit.

Let’s get things started with one of the countless internet denizens who has no idea what an ellipsis is actually used for.

yeah yeah.. stealing is wrong…
But… no one was killed… or harmed very badly…
and the guy got away…very creatively by the way.
For all I care… if this guy is going to go across the country robbing banks in this manner… have at it, as long as no one is maimed or killed in the proccess…
Man that makes for a good news story. HAHA!

Yes, anarchy is always welcomed as long as it makes for hilarious fluff news. By the way, did you hear about the man exposing himself to children? No one was maimed or killed, and the news report used a cartoon duck to cover his genitalia! Hilarious!

It would seem that local police have a regular Keyser Souce on their hand.

Look, you’re already on the internet. Could you not spend 2 seconds to check if you spelled Keyser Söze correctly? Also, Keyser Söze murdered his own family before butchering the majority of the Hungarian mob, so, no, the police DON’T have a regular Keyser Söze on their hands. Jesus. Why didn’t you just jump straight to Godwin and say the police had a regular “Hitler” on their hands?

I wonder if he is a relative of D.B. Coopers?

Again, you have access to the whole damn internet, could you not have maybe done a little research? I mean, props for knowing one of the great unsolved capers in US history, but negative props for associating it with a guy who will probably be caught the next time he logs back into Craigslist.

this thing is so funny, now someone need to make a movie

What the hell?! You just read the whole damn story! Are you really admitting to the internet that your imagination is completely incapable of recreating this story that you’re DEMANDING someone charge you ten bucks for the privilege of watching what you just now read? Sweet pie-baking gorillas, you’re an idiot!

haha clever
at least NOW he’ll have some good pillow-talk to tell his new boyfriend in prison.

I was beginning to wonder if I was actually still on the internet, what with the lack of research and palpable homophobia.

people are crazy these days.

Well gosh, I sure am glad you decided to chime in on this delightful little anecdote. Just couldn’t let this story go by without tossing in your two cents, huh? I guess “ha ha” seemed to pedestrian and “omg wtf” was just outside of your grasp?

Too bad the idiot American voting public could not and cannot elect a President who can think ahead and plan like this.

Because what would the internet be without a self-righteous, thread-jacking asshole with a political chip on his shoulder?



Jesus Christ ascended into a mother ship from the planet Playtex


by pico -d gallo

I’m not a scientist, but it seems to me that if you’re going to deny that Moses actually encountered God on Mount Sinai, then the most obvious and probable alternative is that the story is a legend. Benny Shanon, an Israeli professor of psychology instead posits that Moses was hopped up on goofballs.

You might expect that some believers would not appreciate this theory. You would be absolutely correct. At this writing there are just under 1000 comments, and although I haven’t read them all, I suspect they aren’t all people saying, “Top-rate theorizing, old chap!” Let’s see.

I pity this man when he stands before God in his final judgement. He is in for a BIG let down.

Why does the press print these people? Does the press ever print the Scriptures themselves? And why not quote the hundreds of millions who believe the Bible? Why indeed?

His hatred of God and the Bible won’t help him to be saved or have any more mercy shown to him after death when he answers for his sins at the judgment.

looks like another attempt on the side of the dark to discredit the bible and the factual words that are in it, for God wrote it and I believe it!!!!!!!it was written thingd like this would happen as well as other events and false teachings would happen as well as mis-information, this guy is just another tool in accomplishing this task, but as usual, with no sucess, this guy needs to go to Mt.Siani and do what moses did not do……………JUMP!!!.

WHO IS THIS THAT DARKENS MY COUNSEL WITH WORDS WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE?

Its astonishing how Jews time and time again reveal themselves to be the ones who have the most contempt for God and His Word.

Yes…uh-huh…and Samson was on steroids and Jesus Christ ascended into a mother ship from the planet Playtex. What a truly pathetic idiot.

Sometimes things are just better left alone. These are sacred stories.

What a sick, nasty excuse for a man Bennie is. He follows the typical leftist approach of saying bad, baseless things about anybody or anything that is viewed as good by normal people. I predict that he will soon be receiving recruiting calls from his fellow sickos at several American universities.

One reason I believe in God is because of sea horses. They are so cute… Anyway, one does not have to hallucinate to see them, and they still exist. But for how long with the lack of environmental concern? Maybe during Moses’ day, there was a bush that actually burned and did speak from the heavens, or snakes that looked like wood, but maybe they all went extinct? Whatever. I believe Moses over a professor of cognitive psychology…Though historical uses of botanical plants I find interesting. I would be interested in reading a book about uses of botanical plants during that time period and region.

WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT DOPE???????

ITS A SHAME THESE LOONIES ARE REFERRED TO AS SCHOLARS.I BET HE ONLY TAKES SEASONAL SHOWERS AND DRIVES A OUTBACK SUBARU

There’s plenty more, including Texas primary results, which guns are best for shooting, why liberals hate Fox News, and so forth. You’re welcome to go through it.

And if you want to play the drinking game version, take a drink each time someone

  • accuses the professor of being on drugs instead of Moses
  • remarks that if the professor had said this about Mohammad, the Islamofascists would want him dead
  • trots out Pascal’s Wager

You’ll be unconscious by page six.