• Published:April 29th, 2008
• Comments:No Comment
• Category:eBay

HAUNTED DOLL IAN & KATHLEEN SPIRITUAL ORPHANS W/FAIRY DIED TITANIC ACCOMPANIED BY FAIRY GRANTS WISHES, ESP, $

THIS ITEM IS HOST TO THE SPIRIT OF TWO DECEASED HUMAN TWIN CHILDREN NAMED ~IAN & KATHLEEN & THEIR SEA FAERIE/SPRITE COMPANION, ATLANTIA~
WE ACQUIRED THESE WONDERFUL SWEET AND GENTLE SPIRITS DURING A SEANCE WHILE VISITING OUR FRIENDS IN THE U.K. AND THEY EXPRESSED A DESIRE TO RETURN TO THE U.S. WITH US TO SHARE THEIR GIFTINGS WITH ONE WHO WOULD LOVE THEM AND BENEFIT FROM THEIR SPIRITUAL AND PSYCHIC GIFTS. THESE HOSTS WERE SPECIFICALLY CHOSEN BY ~IAN & KATHLEEN~ TO SERVE AS THEIR HOSES AS THIS IS HOW THEY LIKE TO SEE THEMSELVES.
BEING THE SPIRITS OF HUMAN CHILDREN ~IAN & KATHLEEN~ HAVE SOME MAGICKAL ABILITIES BUT THEIR PRIMARY ABILITIES ARE THE ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH LOVED ONES AND CHERISHED PETS ON THE OTHER SIDE AND AID THEIR LIGHTWORKER IN DEVELOPING PSYCHIC ABILITIES. ~IAN & KATHLEEN~ ARE TREMENDOUSLY SWEET LITTLE SPIRITS WHO ARE SEEKING A HOME WHERE THEY WILL BE LOVED AND CHERISHED. ~IAN & KATHLEEN~ COME FROM IRELAND. THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO THE UNITED STATES FROM IRELAND ON BOARD THE “TITANIC” WHEN IT HIT AN ICEBERG ANK. SINCE THEIR PARENTS WERE EXTREMELY POOR, THEY HAD NO OPPORTUNITY TO GET OFF THE SHIP INTO THE TOO FEW AVAILABLE LIFEBOATS. DURING THE SINKING OF THE SHIP, THEY WERE SEPARATED FROM THEIR PARENTS AND THEY ALL PERISHED AT SEA. ~IAN & KATHLEEN~ ARE TWINS AND APPROXIMATELY 5 YEARS OLD ANDM IN THEIR FEAR, THEY CHOSE TO REMAIN BEHIND UPON THEIR DEATH.

GARDEN FAIRY PINK AMULET TALISMAN Wicca Pagan Witch

This is a Beautiful Garden Fairy in Vibrant Colors. Truely Adorable and Perfect When Working With the Fey Folk. I Personally Garden Every Year-Large Gardens Full of Vegetables and Herbs including Belladonna and Henbane. We eat What we Grow as Well as Give Away Goodies to Others so They Can Enjoy Fresh Organic Foods. I Invite the Fairies to Watch my Gardens and Frolick in Them. What Could be Better. Use This Amulet/Talisman as a Good Luck Token, Protection. Use for all your Needs!

This Talisman is Perfect to Carry with you Anywhere you go, Carry in Your Pocket as a Token or in Your Purse, Place on Your Altar, Give as a Gift and use Whenever you Need a Boost of Power and Energy. Handmade and Witch Made! Wood is Used to Bring in the Natural Power and Energy from Nature and is Durable if Dropped etc. Unlike Plaster or Glass. Lots of Time and Positive Energy Goes into Making Each One. Each one is Blessed and Prepared During the Phase of the Full Moon. I Have Been Making These for Some Years Now and During One of the Dark of the Moon Teas That I Enjoy With a Great Circle of Witches we Each Made One. We Gathered Together and Enchanted and
Empowered Them. So after Alot Of Thought I Decided to Continue Making These and Offer Them to You!

PRINCESS FAIRIE JADE NECKLACE THAT INVITES WEALTH FAST
MAKE OFFERINGS OF STRAWBERRIES & BLUEBERRIES TO FAIRY

There is a Princess Fairy “Mittle” residing inside this necklace will help u with your wishes. After ownign this necklace for app a month, will see luck alowly coming to you. When u buy lotteries or at any card games, horse racing, slot machines or inside the casino, this jade necaklce will lead u to earn big bucks. Your mind will automatically get a quick instict or accurate 6th sense on your choice of numbers at the betting table whenever this necklace is around you. Princess Fairie “Mittle” loves drowning herself with money and luxury and therefore she will see you through your finances. You will need to be in return offer Princess Fairie “Mittel” strawberries and blueberies for every $1000 that she helps you to make. Place these offerings on a piece of plate with this jade necklace on top of it for a full 2 days. Do not touch it during this time. Fairie “Mittle” will be very appeased with what u have done. You are unbale to see her even if you have the 3rd eye but you might be abel to feel and sense her presencse when she is around. U will have some kind of different feeling when she is near to you but she does not come out often. Pls do nto allow anyone to touchn this necklace and is strictly for paranormal believers

Haunted Amy Fairy print 8X10 w/brown cardboard backing

I must say, I just stood there with my mouth open, and so did my dog. We were mesmerized watching these glittering playful lights materialize into a fairy, right before our eyes, I mean literally, a fairy with wings and sprakles and I mean right there in front of us.
Well, as I was looking at her, she all of a sudden materialized into what I would say was a human form, she was about 1 1/2 feet tall, kind of bluish-green skin with huge almost see through wings, and glowing like the sun, but she was solid, not just sparkling lights, like I had seen before, it was almost as if she could “feel” me, and became a physical being.

*OOAK REAL? PRESSED FAIRY* Tiny *SHRUNKEN* Faery Goth

Grandma told me enchanting tales
of how the faeries followed her from Wales
How they flitted about her garden flowers
She and her cat could watch them for hours
Then one day that cat did stray
and pounced upon one very unfortunate fae
Grandma scolded that bad cat
But a cat will be a cat and that is that
As for the precious little faery
Grandma thought it too beautiful to bury
She pressed it carefully under glass
That Grandma always was a clever lass

• Published:April 29th, 2008
• Comments:No Comment
• Category:Blog Comments, News Comments

The star of Hannah Montana, 15-year-old Miley Cyrus, recently took some photos for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair that are being described as “provocative.” In a “best of both worlds” move, Ms. Cyrus is apologizing in advance for the photos, claiming that she finds them embarrassing, which will afford her some sympathy from her fanbase while still ensuring controversy that will sell even more copies of the magazine.

Reaction is mixed, as one might imagine. Despite Ms. Cyrus’ apology, some fans have officially jumped ship:

Well, that’s the last time my girls listen to Hanna Montana. It’s simple, there a are plenty of examples of how to be a SL#T out there. We are looking for examples of character and this is not it.

Some folks leave comments as if Ms. Cyrus is ever going to read them:

Earning $1 billion dollars, and then have pictures in compromising positions, and clothing is nothing short of stupid. She is only compromising the brand.Bite your tongue, Miley, and leave your clothes on. Hire a PR person whom your family trusts, as well as Disney trusts, to watch your step through all the b.s.

Miley!!!!! Don’t go there. Don’t let anyone convince you that crap is artistic. You have too much influence over children and parents have trusted you and your family to provide good entertainment and be role models. Please stay a good girl!A worried parent!

Miley, this is not representative of modesty for one who proclaims to follow Jesus. Are you in the world or of the world? You can’t have it both ways.

Another person charmingly presses the religion button:

Ever notice this: The bigger the crucifix, the faster the clothes come off.

A couple people know what they’re seeing, and aren’t having any of it:

what a tramp!

As James Carville once said, ‘This is what you get dragging a $20.00 bill through a trailer park’. Welcome home sweetie.

Some wonder what the family was up to when all this was going on:

Where the hell was Billy Ray? Boot Scoot Boogie dancing..??

I have had a feeling since the start of her career that Billy ray has been trying to revive his career somehow throw his child.This proves it.A christian child ,being a child,definitly might make this kind of judgement mistake.A christian father wouldn’t,unless he was following the money(or fame).Dude, if you are supposed to be managing her,why did you not squelch the deal before it hit VF?

Screw up - apologize! Screw up - apologize!Screw up - apologize!Lose fan base.Lose contracts. Apologize for screwing up and beg forgiveness.Gain one contract.Gain back some fans.Screw up - apologize!Screw up - apologize!Die of drug overdose. Billy Ray holds press conference and accepts blame (sort of).Does Billy Ray have any more kids to exploit?He’s doing such a bang-up job of tramping up this one!

Okay, what?

i think her father is a very sick man. i am not sure he does not have incest on his mind.

Quick! Throw in some references to current events!

Isn’t is sad and ironic that 450 children have been unconstitutionally stripped from their mothers in Texas based on a prank call from Colorado, and here is the All American Girl stripping for the world to see? We are surely bread and circus Rome these days and are doomed on this course.

“MOHT1021″ predicts the future!

soon, she’ll likely be pregnant just like jamie lynn spears, who’s 16. they keep working them younger and younger. […] i wouldn’t be surprised if, by the time they are 18, she and jamie lynn spears are both famous porn starlets. the master plan is to destroy the united states of america. the way to do that is to, of course, destroy the family. hannah’s on her way to becoming a very famous prostitute. go, girl!!!

“Beachscene” lays down the law:

NO ONE should buy the magazine unless they are child sex perverts.

And “jimesmith” has some words of wisdom for all of us:

All you people bloggong on BS stuff like this — get a life!

• Published:April 27th, 2008
• Comments:6 Comments
• Category:Books, Crafts

One of the most terrifying areas of self-publishing is books for kids, perhaps because the books are shorter and the audience younger would-be authors assume that self-publishing is a good idea.

Johnny and the Preacher

A humorous, informative, true story about a preacher and his family’s adventures with their pet crow.

Orelda and Corelda on Wall Street

Wall Street Books for Kids! Orelda and Corelda on Wall Street is a coloring story book for kids. This Wall Street book celebrates taking daughters to work day & the wonders of the Stock Exchange. Teaching kids about investing. Kids books about New York. Join these sisters in the heart of NY’s financial district when their father takes his daughters to work one day, They are surprised to learn that stocks are not the only thing traded on Wall Street. A fun introduction to investing for kids. For children ages 5-10.

Tisa Plays Guitar and Strange Things Happen

When Tisa plays guitar with kids, strange things happen. Let’s call them MAGICAL things.

I don’t want strange things happening near my kids, accompanied by a guitar or not.

Child and Youth Reiki Program: Mount Kurama and the Emerald Lake

Mount Kurama and the Emerald Lake is a Child and Youth Reiki Program, with Mythological Reiki Tales to help Children and Youth become empowered. This Reiki program is intended to provide the young person with a healthy and fun tool for self-care and self-acceptance, leading to personal empowerment. Reiki is a conscious life force energy shared through the hands that provides individuals, through gentle and appropriate touch, with a sense of calm and balance. Within this book are two stories told through the eyes of a young adventurer, Lolly Walker, who discovers she can share the Reiki through her. She only need believe!

Johnny Profit

“Johnny Profit” is a story about a man who rescues a small village from the drudgery of poverty through his profit making powers. In a world where farmers turn soil with their hands, Johnny’s “digger” lifts them from their knees and returns many hours each day to their lives. This simple tool and Johnny’s unique concept of “honest deal making” spark an amazing Renaissance that changes life in Kimor forever.

TWEETADOPPLIN: Fozzi Fairy-Catcher’s Secrets

There is no main character but each story highlights one of the inhabitants of the city of Tweetadopplin. With names like Maria Fly-Feeder, Todd Tiger-Spitter and Chi-Chi Fudge-Bubbler, you can imagine how much fun the reader will have following them throughout their daily activities.

Lady Megan’s Mission

A Phenomenally Phased, Frivolously Factual, Frolicking Fantastic, Funny Facetious Fable Featuring Finicky Foibles and Fictitious Fantasies From a Fabulous Family Ferociously Fighting Foreigners For Freedom Forever

• Published:April 25th, 2008
• Comments:5 Comments
• Category:Message Boards

“Corba,” a poster at a G.I. Joe message board, is not happy with the quality of recent toys:

So…i picked up a another duke today so i could open him. When i opened him, i was pissed he’s cheap ass plastic. HE IS NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL. IM NEVER GOING TO OPEN ANYMORE OF THEM BUT I WILL COLLECT THEM.

So…you’re not happy with the quality of your toys…but you will continue to buy them…

What a bold way to send a message to the manufacturer about your displeasure with their products: give them even more money. It’s just so crazy it might work!

Or, no, wait…it’s just crazy.

• Published:April 25th, 2008
• Comments:5 Comments
• Category:Fan Fiction

We’ve seen fan fiction take on Jane Austen and still more classic works of literature are not able to escape being used as fan fiction fodder.

Lord of the Flies: Fruition

Ralph’s eyes were wide with utter shock as they locked onto Jack’s. His fingers fumbled towards his lips, but he refused to touch them. He sat motionless on the warm ground, drawing in a shaky breath. Jack never broke away from Ralph’s gaze as he searched for Ralph’s thoughts that could usually be read clearly on his face. This time, however, he was indecipherable. ‘He knows now, doesn’t he?’ Jack thought, wiping away stray tears. He wanted to break the deafening silence, but chose not to in favor of allowing Ralph to recover. But the boy merely sat, not breaking away until just a moment later as his eyes trailed slowly to the floor. Ralph’s mind was astir with thoughts and emotions. ‘J-Jack…’ He could not bring himself to think coherently.

“You - you must know now.” Jack whispered, blushing madly but not caring enough to turn away as he usually did. “J-J…” Ralph was stupefied. Slowly Jack began, eager to reason with the boy. “This island is far different from the place we used to live in. Am I wrong?” Ralph sat silently, allowing his fingers to trail aimlessly on his lips. “This sort of thing…it might not have been accepted at home, b-but -” Now Jack was lost for words. Was this wrong? He looked for something simple, an easy way to offer an explanation. “I don’t - care if this might be wrong. I don’t know how this happened or what it means. I just know that I feel it…and it’s killing me.” Other tears slipped across his face, and Jack simply let them fall. Now Ralph knew, he finally knew.

Ralph looked up to him slowly, blushing now as well.

Lord of the Flies: Sinful Secrets

Jack slapped him harder this time. “You think you can stop me?!” He slapped him again. “Can you?! Huh?!”

Simon now remained helpless beneath his deadly dominator. He got kissed on the lips but refused to return the favour. Jack punched him hard in the stomach and grabbed his groin. Simon screamed in agony.

“I’m gonna hurt you Simon,” he sneered. “You wanna feel pain?”

“Jack please stop,” Simon sobbed. “I don’t want this.”

Once again, he felt another hot kiss purge his soft lips. A hand travelled down his chest and poked his navel. He really felt like crying, but he couldn’t. He wanted Roger so bad right now, but the more Jack consumed him the farther Roger would go in his mind. He had no other choice but to give in, for now.

He slipped his tongue in Jack’s mouth, allowing it to dance with the other’s. His hips bucked up and Jack was caught in a trance.

“Simon…” Jack moaned. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

To Kill a Mockingbird: The World From My Porch

As Dill was bedridden for the next few days, it was up to me to run errands generally be active for him. I brought him meals and read with him, even going to visit his editor.

By the end of the week, Dill had taught me how to drive adequately, with him sitting in the passenger seat and grabbing my hand on the clutch every time I made the car stall. I couldn’t honestly say I minded the physical attention, as our kiss was still fresh in my mind. Whenever I thought of Marcus, that horrified expression on his face, I felt a guilty pang. I blamed my sudden attachment to Dill on the excess of time I was spending with him, not on the fact that perhaps deciding who I liked more was a little easier than I had first imagined.

To Kill a Mockingbird: The Present

“I wanted to give you your present early, Atticus.” I said pushing my face up to my brothers after the rest of the family had left. The room was quiet a few moments after my statement.

Atticus took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, turning to look at my expectant face. He pushed up his glasses and smirked. “You know, I actually got you a real present, the kind you unwrap.”

“Oh, come on. You can unwrap your present.” I grinned and took off his glasses and setting them on the coffee table, looking deviously into his eyes.

“That’s not funny, Jack.” He said sternly, blushing again and reaching for his glasses. I chuckled and bent over his body, straddling him with my arms. He grumbled and lay on his back, resting his arms on his chest.

“You know you like this. I know you desire me more than you wish to admit.” I laughed at his uneasiness and pressed my lips against his. His eyes fluttered and he relaxed, moving his lips with mine.

• Published:April 24th, 2008
• Comments:1 Comment
• Category:Fan Fiction, News Comments

Okay, granted, the headline of this article, covering the legal conflict between Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and the writer of an unauthorized encyclopedia on her work,is a bit on the provocative side (”Harry Potter storylines are gibberish, judge tells Rowling”), but it’s clear from the article itself what the judge meant. This commentator gets it right:

The headline here is VERY misleading if you read the judge’s actual quote. He said that the book was filled with names and words that WOULD BE gibberish ‘in any OTHER context.’ That is a very factual and simple statement which doesn’t imply ANYTHING about the storyline. I don’t care one way or the other about Harry Potter, but I’m an ex-journalist who hates to see the facts so badly misrepresented.

Of course, why let “reading the article” or “a moment’s worth of thought” get in the way of “knee-jerk reaction?”

Seem the judge isn’t into fiction or fairy stories. Wonder if he reads the Bible.

The judge must not be too bright if he doesn’t understand the books. Definitely has no imagination.

It seems suspicious to me that a judge, who normally reads complex, convoluted legal briefs, would find it difficult to read ‘Harry Potter’. Maybe it’s too straightforward and clearly written for him.

I am a 64 year old male American judge and have read all of the Harry Potter series. […] The judge that calls these books ‘gibberish’ may have a small screw loose or has completely forgotten his childhood. The books are great and much deeper than one would think.

Kids seem to have no trouble following the Potter books. It’s scary that a judge can’t.

Harry Potter is hardly gibberish. Has the judge listened to attorneys trying cases? He lacks imagination…

Hmm…hope there’s room for some non sequitur political commentary:

Gibberish! The book is easily comprehensible to 10 year olds. How did this man get to be a district court judge? Probably a Clinton appointee.

Response is immediate:

Uhhh, no. Reagan.

And then it’s back to calling the judge stupid:

My 9 year old grandson has digested the entire series. He relishes the complexity and challenge.

And I’ll bet Judge Patterson hasn’t read anything substantive outside of a legal brief in decades…

Harry Potter? Complex? and this guy gets to decide whether someone is guilty of a crime…

seriously we need to start uping the skill requirements to be someone with power in this country.

i’ve had minumum wage jobs with people smart enough to understand harry potter.

Well said.

• Published:April 24th, 2008
• Comments:7 Comments
• Category:Message Boards

After attending last Sunday’s game between the Philadelphia Phillies and New York Metro-Politans “mgardner” has a question-

On my way back to the seat from the restroom at the Phillies-Mets game today, I saw a couple donned in Mets apparel being harassed by Phillies faithful. Upon telling them to leave the Mets fans alone, they turned their anger towards me. (For the record, I was wearing a Phillies cap.) Fortunately, I was on my way back towards my seat so I did not have to endure their taunts for long. Apparently Phillies fans who stand up for Mets fans are no better than Mets fans themselves in the eyes of Philadelphia.

This is not, of course, the first time I have experienced such hostility coming from Philadelphia sports fans, but it got me wondering why they feel a necessity to be this way. Though I am (and have long been) a Phillies fan, I have a lot of respect for our biggest division rivals (as well as any other opposing team) and see no absolutely no problem with their fans showing their support. Why am I in the minority?

Fair enough. Now, does anyone have-

I don’t care what you think, I don’t want a NY chant in a stadium funded by OUR taxpayers for a team FUNDED by me and other fans. If you want to sit back and let them take over our stadium fine, but I will VERBALLY HARRASS THE HELL out of any Mets fans that come here. I do not want their experience to be nice and enjoyable. If I go to a game at Shea, I will not wear my teams colors and scream Phillies chants the whole time. Those chants were an ABSOLUTE INSULT TO OUR CITY!!

I will not make it Physical, but I will make it the least enjoyable experience and make them never want to come back to our stadium. If you defend them and allow them to embarrass us, you are fair game.

You will never hear a Yankees chant at a RedSox game and vice versa, if we want Met/Phillies to be the same level, we need to respect our stadium.

Thank you, ah, “Towelie,” now let’s see if we can-

Like I stated before, I do not condone violence. But my family and I have had season tickets for a long time and waited a long time for a good team and shouldn’t have to be embarrased like this. Where were all you “leave em alone” fans between 94-2002 huh? The true fans were down there cheering for the team even in the bad years, and I don’t need to hear “leave them alone” from some fairweather fans that only show up when the team is good. Same with the Eagles, I love how we used to rock the Vet even when the team was bad during the mid to late 90’s. Then all of a sudden the team gets good/raises prices by $50 a seat and then these fairweather fans have the nerve to call the die hard fans “animals?” Go back to the suburbs you fair weather fans.

Now, don’t other teams’ fans possibly have a right to be at the game, seeing as how they purchased tickets and-

They have a right to come, but when they don their colors and chant their teams chants on National TV, they are completely fair game to any and all insults. They can’t have their cake and eat it too.

Once again, I am not condoning violence at any level. Not even spitting or throwin Peanuts, but I do take issue when our stadium starts to become flooded with Blue and Orange. I find it well within my right and take pride in making it a rough experience for Mets fans to try and make Citizens Bank park their second stadium. If they take issue with my insults, they are well within their right to leave or say something witty back. I had a couple Mets fans on Friday night say you “Your right, we do suck after that collapse last year”. I found that to be pretty funny and left those guys alone the rest of the night. They weren’t screaming “Lets go Mets” either. That annoys me more than anything.

So, now you know- if you go to a Phillies game and you’re rooting for the opposing team, be sure to wear something neutral.

Thankfully, however, someone finally has a clear, direct and easy answer to the central question of why Philadelphia’s sports fans are so hostile-

They are a bunch of drunkin scumbags. You are in the minority because you are sober.

• Published:April 23rd, 2008
• Comments:24 Comments
• Category:Fandom, The Crazy

There is no shortage of stupidity and cluelessness on the internet, but occasionally one stumbles across something that is above and beyond the usual OTC-grade fan entitlement rants or casual homophobia. I’m talking about idiocy so transcendent and pure that it threatens to create a vortex of despair capable of extinguishing any scrap of faith in humanity one has left.

I’m talking about The Open-Source Boob Project, as explained by “theferret.” The narrative has since been cluttered with all manner of backpedaling and qualifiers, some added since I started work on this post, but it began with this:

“This should be a better world,” a friend of mine said. “A more honest one, where sex isn’t shameful or degrading. I wish this was the kind of world where say, ‘Wow, I’d like to touch your breasts,’ and people would understand that it’s not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful.”

In other words, it’s not about objectification…it’s about objectification with the opportunity to cop a feel. Theory turns into (a quite fanfic-ish) reality when one of author’s female acquaintances lets him touch her dirty pillows:

We all reached out in the hallway, hands and fingers extended, to get a handful. And lo, we touched her breasts - taking turns to put our hands on the creamy tops exposed through the sheer top she wore, cupping our palms to touch the clothed swell underneath, exploring thoroughly but briefly lest we cross the line from ‘touching” to “unwanted heavy petting.” They were awesome breasts, worthy of being touched.

And life seemed so much simpler.

And, lo, a movement was born! A proud movement where groping becomes an act of empowerment:

And my God! We all reached out like zombies trying to break through a door to get to those breasts. And it wasn’t getting any worse! We weren’t degenerating into an orgy, but rather exploring the amazement of how beautiful this body was and how wonderful it was to have access to them. Nobody was trying to pull off a bra or suck on a nipple; we’d been given access to a very special place that only lovers usually touched, and why would you be so crude as to try to push the boundaries of that?

And every girl in that hallway was then asked the question: “May I touch your breasts?” They considered, and said yes. And we all did.

Of course, it’s not really a movement unless there’s buttons:

At Penguicon, we had buttons to give away. There were two small buttons, one for each camp: A green button that said, “YES, you may” and a red button that said “NO, you may not.” And anyone who had those buttons on, whether you knew them or not, was someone you could approach and ask:

“Excuse me, but may I touch your breasts?”

And if you weren’t a total lout - the women retained their right to say no, of course - they would push their chests out, and you would be allowed into the sanctity of it. That exchange of happiness where one person are told with gropes and touches that they are desirable and the other is someone who’s allowed to desire.

For a moment, everything that was awkward about high school would fade away and you could just say what was on your mind. It was as though parts of me were being healed whenever I did it, and I touched at least fifteen sets of boobs at Penguicon. It never got old, surprisingly.

So what we’re really talking about is simply an elaborate scheme to steal second base dressed up with copious amounts of Reichean cosmobabble. It takes a dedicated individual to create such an elaborate justification for frat boy behavior.

“theferret” mentions “high school” a few times in his purplish recounting of events, suggesting some past tragedy worthy of Jay Gatsby — only instead of reaching for the green light across the bay, he’s reaching for what’s under the green button.

Lost in all the talk of lost inhibitions and discovered beauty is the lopsided power dynamic inherent in these, ahem, “transactions,” specifically whose “needs” are actually being met gratified. A simple working knowledge of group dynamics (and nerd culture) casts some doubt on the supposedly “opt-in,” “no pressure” consensual nature of the arrangement, as it leaves out questions of peer pressure and the need to belong, not to mention the host of associated issues involving a subculture where insecurities and feelings of isolation are commonly found. All high-falutin’ justifications aside, that shit can’t be exorcised by having a stranger feel you up, though there are plenty folks out there who’ll try to argue otherwise in exchange for the opportunity for a free grope.

The lopsided equation brings up other problems in terms of creating an uncomfortable atmosphere for female con attendees, who even if they choose not to participate in the grope-a-rama have to deal with an atmosphere of semi-sanctioned objectification. A female friend of mine who is a frequent con-attendee found the whole idea to be crude and sophomoric, and said she would categorically refuse to attend an event where such practices occurred. “That shit is bad enough without further encouraging the knuckledraggers,” she added.

As the The Open-Source Boob Project’s mission statement appeared in a LiveJournal post, the comments (seven pages worth before being locked down) were the expected mix of echo-chamber words of encouragement and bombastic outrage, leading to this defensive remark by “theferret”:

It would also lessen the intimacy of straight marriages if gay folks were allowed to get together. That would be sad. Because you know, your definition of what “intimacy” is should be the same as mine, and if mine differs then yours should override me. Because you’re not wrong, of course.

Yes, because the struggle for equal rights and protection under the law is exactly the same as a fanboy’s convoluted plot to touch women’s boobs.

When it became clear that the crusade on behalf of free and easy gropery did not meet the expected public approval, the backpedaling began in earnest with a series of passive-aggressive updates and edits posited to suggest that he didn’t really mean what he clearly stated in the original text…

And the chances that the Project would get fucked up, making con spaces more amenable to hordes of stalkers and mouthbreathers who will grope and maul women, are pretty damn big. Hell, it’s already made women feel less safe by me mentioning it, and that makes me feel like shit. As it should.

The Project itself, at least as done at Penguicon, has been turned by the miracle of reposting into some nightmare of eternal groping, female hunting, and a constant stream of denigration. And while that’s not the way it happened - at least from the perspective of the folks who participated that I’ve heard from who have expressed positive opinions behind f-locked posts because they don’t want to endure the commentstreams that I’m getting…

…It doesn’t matter. Scalzi, as usual, got it right: It was highly context-specific. What happened to us, even if it was good, is not what will happen to you. The danger of it getting out of hand is too great – and already, people worry that they’re going to be press-ganged into a groping area if they don’t have a button, despite the fact that I (and others) have said that’s not what happened at all. But honestly? That easily could happen without proper supervision, male power being what it is…

To which I can only add, “No effing kidding, Einstein.” The Scalzi he mentions above refers to author John Scalzi, who offered some heavily qualified support for the idea behind the project, as well as this howler:

Now, how do I feel about it? Well, philosophically, I think it’s fine: I think it’s reasonable for folks to get used to breasts being a component of a whole human, not these strange, mystical entities there to entice and distract one, and if there’s any place where there are people who could benefit from this lesson, it’s a convention full of computer, science fiction and anime geeks, many of whom are very young men (temporally and/or socially). Hopefully some of them benefited from the experience, and not just because they got to touch a girl’s breasts.

So objectification equals demystification? If it’s simply about the theraputive power of human contact, than why breasts, and not, say, shoulders? Why should the burden of mammary-contact therapy fall upon the woman if the male participant is the one who reaps the (rather dubious) presumed benefits?

Most importantly, does anyone have any lye I can borrow? I suspect I’ll be needing some after finishing this post, though I’m unsure whether I’ll use it for cleaning or for culinary purposes.

• Published:April 22nd, 2008
• Comments:1 Comment
• Category:Blog Comments, Gaming

Video-games for parents site What They Play recently conducted a poll on what in-game materials parents find the most objectionable. “A graphically severed human head” was offensive to 26% of parents polled. “Two men kissing” was the most offensive to 27%.

Yes, let’s let that one sink in for a moment, shall we?

Here’s what some commentators had to say:

I would have voted for two men kissing over graphic head removal. I have nothing against gay people, I used to have a gay friend. But, seeing that is nasty. Even the thought of it is disgusting. Maybe my opinion will change when I become a parent.

He “used to have a gay friend?” Color me surprised by the use of the past-tense there.

I’m sure the parents would prefer games without severed heads or homosexual themes. Violence has been a part of human history much longer than homosexuality so I’m not that surprised.

Aw, but without severed heads or men kissing, what’s the point of even playing video-games?

Just because something has happened throughout history doesn’t make it “natural”. You are forgetting that people have free wills. I’m sure ancient Greek soldiers and the like could have chosen to not take young boys to battle with them. Today’s soldiers don’t do that. I doubt that they would even if it was legal.

Yeah, those Spartans were a bunch of wimps anyway…

Maybe you didn’t choose to do any of these things, but that doesn’t mean the feelings you have are natural feelings. Satan is a deceiver. No offense to you, but when a person has been deceived, they don’t know that they’ve been deceived. Satan can put those thoughts in one’s head and make them seem completely natural. That doesn’t mean they are natural though.

You know, if Satan really is tricking people into being gay, I can’t help but think that it’s an incredibly stupid way to be spending his time. Shouldn’t he be corrupting politicians and business leaders and…oh, wait…

Sorry, I disagree with the poll…2 men kissing would be the worst! I play games to escape reality and crappy politics..not to have gayness forced on me by having to see that. Sorry, but there’s a political side to it pure and dimple.once that’s accepted Mario and Luigi could take on a completely different meaning.

Why do they always go to the incest well? I mean, honestly!

• Published:April 22nd, 2008
• Comments:1 Comment
• Category:Comics

The Canadian commentator Mark Steyn recently wrote a review of Mark Evanier’s new biography of Jack Kirby. It’s notable for being one of the only times you’re likely to come across a “conservative” taking the side of labor in a dispute with management, but what really elevates it to level of sheer nuttiness is this passage:

Stan was Marvel’s head writer and presiding genius and, to a couple of generations of readers, Mister Comics. (I met him briefly at the Democratic convention in Los Angeles in 2000: yes, he’s a Democrat — why do you think comic-book heroes gave up truth, justice and the American way to sit around on rooftops like Spidey riddled with self-doubt about whether their awesome powers are a blessing or a curse?)

Yes, that’s right, Stan’s political affiliations are the reason Spidey is mopey. I suppose if Spider-Man was created by a conservative, he’d be out there beating up hippies and commies and abortionists and the gays like a good American.

Oh, wait, Steve Ditko created Spider-Man, and he’s a Randian Libertarian.

Guess Steyn’s just an idiot, then.