• Published:July 15th, 2008
• Comments:No Comment
• Category:Fan Fiction, Gaming

Proof that the fanfictioneers will use almost anything to inspire their creations, I bring you Katamari Fanfiction:

Hard Boiled Katamari and the End of the World:

Johnson picked up on it before I did, and I’m supposed to be the smart one. Was supposed to be the smart one. He just looked at me, with those eyes, the eyes of someone who’s seen their fate and knows how it’s going to end up. You see that a lot nowdays. He told me, “Tell Mari I love her.” and took out his gun, that silly little pistol. He’d never fired it before. He once told me, late at night, how he had once had to aim it at someone, and it had given him nightmares for a week.

He fired it now. And I swear that thing turned to face him, like a bull to a red flag. He kept firing, unloading all his bullets. Didn’t even make a scratch. Then it was on him and I saw the life crushed out of him under that thing, the lump of everything mankind had made, now turned against us.

I ran.

Why Tycho Quit Drinking

The King of All Cosmos stumbles home in the dark. It really is quite dark out, much darker than it should be. It’s a tad distressing, really, just how dark it is, but he can’t quite put his finger on why. Because his fingers are very, very big, and he is very, very drunk.

It had been a fantastic night out on the Universe. First, there was open mike night at the local bar. He’d strummed his guitar, composed a trio of adorable haiku, found a word that rhymed with orange, and then finished it all off with a rousing Tom Jones medley. The crowd went wild and he graciously blew kisses to his swooning fans, autographing whatever was handy — napkins, things you wear on your head, children.

Keeper Of The Bud

The small Prince walked up to his father, The King Of The Cosmos and craned his neck to look up. “Oh tiny Prince, I have a job for you.” He said. “More stars giant father with the big bulge?” The Prince asked. “No. I’m sending you to Earth to roll up…DRUGS!” He boomed.