• Published:May 9th, 2008
• Comments:No Comment
• Category:Comics, Movies

So I’m browsing MovieWeb (for work, I swear!) and notice in the sidebar a list of “most commented-on threads,” which is always promising. Comments on movie websites are retard gold. The top one is for X-Men 4, which I guess is a thing?

So I investigate. The X-Men franchise had drastically diminishing returns, but stuff like “objective quality” doesn’t matter to the kind of people who post on message boards. They just want to make sure there are no nipples on the Batsuit and that Kitty Pryde says ONLY WHAT KITTY PRYDE WOULD SAY ACCORDING TO THEIR FAN FICTION.

First thing I see:

YOU GUYS ARE DUMB…GET OVER iT…NOT EVERY MOViE iS GONNA TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WANT iT…SO GET A LiFE…YOU PEOPLE THiNK THAT THE WHOLE MOViE BiZZ REVOLVES AROUND YOUR STANDARDS…WELL MAYBE THE DiRECTOR WAS AiMiNG FOR THE YOUNGER KiDS OR MAYBE THEY DiDN’T WANT TO COPY OFF OF THE COMiC BOOKS…iT MiGHT HAVE SET A LAW SUiT ON THEM…DUHH!! MAN YOU GUYS ARE SO DUMB…GET OVER iT iF YOU DONT LiKE THE WAY THiNGS ARE THEN STOP WATCHiNG THE MOViES!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what I always think when I see text like that? “Man, it takes a lot more work to type like an idiot than it does to type like a normal person.” Can you imagine training your brain to hit Shift every time you type “I” in your all-caps rant? That’s cerebral real estate that would be much better used memorizing, say, left-handed masturbators throughout history.

As it turns out, this is the latest post; MovieWeb lists the most recent post first because it is stupid and hates you. So I scrolled further down for some context. I did not find illumination.

Its so hard to be a comic book fan and watch any of these comic to film movies. There hasnt been one single comic book movie that was laid out excatly like the comics. Even spiderman 1 screwed it all up. The whole bridge scene was taken right out of the comic where Gwene Stacey fell and broke her neck when spider caught her with his web. I know they want to pack 50 years of comics into a 2 hour film, but at least have the directors read and do a little research on the characters and storyline. So I humor myself when I go out to watch these movies, and keep an open mind so I wont be so F*&kin disappointed all the time.

He’s not done.

Shit I HATE rubber suits…

OK, now he’s done. Three things:

1. I cannot take continuity judges seriously when they can’t even get character names right.
2. If you want to see the exact same story as the comic, just reread the damn comic.
3. Shut up.

Further down, some dude who uses a shirtless muscular guy doing push-ups as his avatar but is surely NOT gay pre-empts this line of thought with some reason:

Ive watched xmen3.. the story itself is negative.. if u r really a fan of xmen (comix,cartoon), knowing what they did to x1 and x2 will surely piss u off cuz they made their own crap story line.. but like what i said, u have 2 change ur point of view in watching these movies not as a basist from the comix, but as a viewer judging its movie’s genre 4 u 2 appreciate the verdict of the movie instead of complaining bout d comparison from d comix.. Singer did a good job as a director although unsatisfying to most of the readers but all in all it was a good movie.. but x3??

Sometimes it’s good to close on a question.