• Published:April 9th, 2008
• Comments:1 Comment
• Category:Fan Fiction

Y.U.-G.I. Joe

Previously on GI Joe:

James McCullen Destro extended his arm, “Welcome to my humble home, Mr. Vice-President.”

The Vice-President smiled evilly, “With this subcontract offer for Iraq reconstruction, you’ll be able to build a house 10- no, a 100 times bigger!”

They laughed evilly.

Dusty and Duke stood outside the plane, in a manner recalling Bogart and Bergman in Casablanca’s final scene.
Duke worked up his nerve to say, “Dusty, I—”

Dusty turned to him sadly, “Shhh… I do too, but we’ll both be discharged if we go any further with this.”

Storm Shadow walked into Cobra Commander’s private chambers, with his hair tied back in a pair of pigtails and dressed in a schoolgirl outfit. “The lawyer twins managed to get you a new toy. We have to lay low in Japan anyway, so we’ll land in Domino City and hide out there until Destro finalizes the Halliburton subcontract.”

Cobra Commander clapped his hands excitedly.

Storm Shadow looked down sadly, “I don’t mean much to you, do I?”

Cobra Commander sighed out of frustration, “Why is whenever I’m with Bludd, Tomax and Xamot, Mindbender, Overkill, Crystal Ball or someone else, you get all pissy?”

Strange New World

“Snake Eyes,” Scarlett cried as she threw herself into his arms. The tears flowed freely now, she knew not from where. All she knew was the intense gratitude that she now felt for him, even though she had never personally experienced these things herself. The idea that anyone could love her, or someone like her, so deeply, truly touched something in her heart. This relationship between her and Snake Eyes in this world was a mystery that she was finally beginning to unravel. Surely, there must be something that she could learn and bring back with her, because one day she felt she would go back to where she had come from. She knew not when or where or how, but something in her gut told her this. Scarlett now felt a tremendous desire to treasure up the love Snake Eyes showered upon her so unconditionally; this love was a rare thing that could not easily be found once lost. This love was something she must treasure within her heart, just as a child holds onto the sweet memories of a distant day filled with wonder and magic. Like that child, Scarlett would spend the rest of her life hoping to recapture the essence of that original, pure feeling, again and again, because in these moments, she would believe that she had found true happiness.

Love Interrupted

Bubblegum Crisis/G.I. Joe lesbian crossover:

“Courtney, let’s go inside.” She softly requested. Sylia escorted the crying Cover Girl to the couch where Priss and Cover Girl were ‘enjoying’ themselves hours earlier. Sylvie watched from a distance, but then got Cover Girl a glass of water. Sitting next to her she offered her moral support. Cover Girl rested her head against Sylia’s shoulder. She was a full member of the Knight Sabers, but in a way she was adopted into this small, close knit family, who, with the exception of Nene, were in one way all orphans or lost their own family. When Cover Girl took Priss home to meet her mother, she accepted the relationship but did not approve of it, the rest of her family basically disowned Cover Girl for her ‘lesbian’ relationship with the Knight Saber. “She always protected me,” Cover Girl mentioned offhand.

Ass Pinching 101

“OW! GODDAMNIT, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING YOU NEANDERTHAL!?”

“H-Hi-Tech!? Whadd’re you doin’ here!?” Rubbing his forehead sorely, Tunnel Rat backed up in shock and surprise. Hi-Tech was none to pleased.

“Well gee, Tunel Rat, this just so happens to be MY workshop! Why SHOULDN’T I be here!?” Angrily, Hi-Tech rubbed the spot where he had been assaulted. “God, that HURT, TR! Don’t you even know how to do it right!?” Tunnel Rat gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean, ‘do it right’? There’s only one way to pinch!”

“Not like it’s St. Patrick’s Day, you moron! That HURT! You have to do it gently, so it’s only like a short nip, rather than trying to rip someones flesh off! In Italy, men do it to women and younger girls as a way of expresssing that they think the girl is pretty. It’s very common over there, and you do it like this-” Swiftly, Hi-Tech reached around Tunnel Rat and gave him a quick pinch, which he made sure didn’t hurt. The result was a very surprised squeak issued from the smaller man.

“H-Hi-Tech! What are you-”