Note: Rule #17 is Optional


by pico -d gallo

Long ago the usenet groups for role-playing games had a problem with a user called “Marcus Arronous NRN”. And “tsr0″. And “Hitesh”. And “C++”. And more. It seems that he was a bit vocal and persistent in getting attention about his homemade RPG, Hybrid. Despite the amazing premise of the RPG — everything in it was derived from a single rule! — he couldn’t seem to stir interest in it.

This is probably because Marcus Arronous NRN, et. al. was batshit insane, as was his game.

Hybrid began its life as “the one-sentence RPG”. Then it became the “one-paragraph RPG”. Then he got a web page (be patient, I shall link there in a moment) and it metastasized.

There are now over 500 rules to Hybrid. “Not a problem,” you imagine. “Most RPGs have plenty of rules.” True, but they don’t have rules like this.

RULE # 223: You can using the cloning equation to figure out the # of people that you can effect telepathically. And, you can use the nuclear equation to figure out the radius within which that you can affect others, but you can use topology to increase the maximum distance that you can affect some particular individual. And, the same method of topology, you can, also, generate or simulate singularity (black hole): % = X^X, where X = (C2/M); or, % = Y^Z, where Y = (C1/10) & Z = exponent, which is inverse exponent that is used on his Life Span.

And no, reading rules 0-222 don’t make it any clearer. See for yourself: The Hybrid RPG Website.

You’ll notice that the rules aren’t in order. I assure you that the early rules are in there, just buried. At some point the “rules” become political/societal/just plain crazy observations, instead of anything having to do with the game.

RULE # 228: Pilot Varsity makes an excellent dip pen.

RULE # 229: Rate of $ inflation seems to double every 10 years; cause is due to politically incorrect reasons.

The author is particularly interested in Marvel Comics, and he talks as though the Marvel Universe RPG was the inspiration for Hybrid, but there are also references to other pop culture phenomena in the rules. You’ll come across Star Trek, Digimon, Godzilla, Smallville, Buck Rogers (TV series), Yu-Gi-Oh, Doctor Who, Xena, The Powerpuff Girls, Star Blazers, Wishmaster, and plenty more, including other — actually playable — RPGs.

There are a number of rules that refer to “building a nuclear bomb for the price of a beer can” but I think it’s too soon to worry. The whole thing is like an intricate fractal of crazy; the deeper you look, the more crazy you see.

He’s also very concerned about women.

RULE # 332: Feminism, Pandora’s Box, is the result or side effect of giving away too much rights & powers to women by foolish men & corrupt politicians & western religious fanatics in USA & other Christian nations, with the worst offenders being USA & Israel, which has not only has a white (Russian women) slave trade but Israel may cause World War iii(3) by kidnapping & raping Russian women, and USA with their insane sodomy laws, where some states make it illegal to kiss your own wife or/and girlfriend…

(it goes on for some time.) He then obsesses about rape for a while, opining that “there is no rape if a man rapes his girlfriend, since before feminism, men were allowed to rape his wife, since most women are frigid or have mood swings, as long as she is his girlfriend during the time that he rape his woman, the same if she his wife” (Part of a large digression in Rule #0.)

At one point he develops a new stat for the game: ARV (Anti Rape Variable), for which the value of the US is 4. Islam has an ARV of 2. But before you think this is condoning Islam (note: he doesn’t seem to like Jews either), check out Rule 375, in which the Hybrid RPG has equations to determine the perfect religion. Islam falls short.

It’s easy to think this guy is just having a laugh, just a troll. That’s what the usenet groups used to think. But consider that he’s been at this for at least seven years. He has gone back and revised some of these rules; there are references to current shows such as Dexter in older rules, as well as references to current events. I’ve been popping in on the site for a few years now and can verify that although he was never very woman-friendly (an earlier version of Hybrid allowed players to be a male or an animal but not a woman) the anti-feminism and rape stuff is fairly recent.

If you want to back away now and pretend you’ve never ventured into this man’s mind, I don’t blame you. But if you’d like to see more, then you need to bookmark The Hybrid RPG Blog. Active since 2006, and updated as recently as March 19, the blog traces the continuing development of the Hybrid RPG/the author’s psychosis. The current entry describes Rule 550.0183 which has to do with predicting someone’s GPA, supposedly.

On the one hand, the Hybrid Author is a bizarre man with no communication skills, hatred of women, poor understanding of (but utter faith in) science and math, and encyclopedic knowledge of RPGs, the Marvel Universe, and other pop-culture ephemera. If those things make him crazy, then you’ll need to commit most of the remaining geek world as well.



America, you all owe me the arrest of Stephen King.


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

Now, Stephen King is a bit of a controversial figure in the realm of American literature. He’s very, very popular and writes a lot of horror and genre fiction, so the snobs tend to look down on him. I’m sure if you’ve read his stuff you might have some issues with his writing as I do, but did you know his atrocities go beyond merely rewriting the first Dark Tower book? Continue on, dear reader, if you dare…

Contrary to all reports about a lone drifter named Mark David Chapman who allegedly shot John Lennon in the back December 8, 1980 you’ll find ample evidence in the back issues of Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report magazines to suggest otherwise. Namely, that John Lennon was, not only politically assassinated, but that Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and, you’d better sit down, horror novelist Stephen King are the three people who can be proven guilty of the crime. King being the real murderer and Chapman but a look-alike, paid actor misleading you with an absolute hoax, the media in tow.

Yes, proven. Our fearless detective, Steve Lightfoot, immediately figured out that the “story” about John Lennon’s assassination was really just that: a story. And I do mean immediately (please forgive the long quotes, he doesn’t write in any other way):

I then turned to the issues of Time and Newsweek and simultaniously noticed that there was no murder
report in the Dec. 15 issues as they were released Dec. 08, the day of the murder. I also noticed that most of the bold print headlines read like a code about John’s assassination. In Time, for example: ” …Watching civilization slide into barbarism and banality…All The President’s Magazines…Death Trail….Doubletalk…Silencing An Almost Free Press…Jailing The News…The F.B.I.’s Show Of Shows…Unholy Ministry…A Gambler’s Luck Runs Out…Death Comes From The Prime Minister… Defiant Widow In The Dock…”Who’s In?”"Who’s Out?…Fitting together the pieces of a complicated jigsaw puzzle…”
It was the ominous headline “Who’s In?”"Who’s Out?” above just elected Ronald Reagan that made my heart sink. After all Reagan was’in’ and Lennon was ‘out’. I then noticed the smaller headline below the photo “Fitting together the pieces of a complicated jigsaw puzzle…” as well as the fact that Richard Nixon’s book The Real War was in the foreground of the picture at Reagan’s right hand side. I pulled that book off the shelf and, literally, opened right to the page where Nixon writes: “The ‘Trendies’…who say ‘war’ is ‘bad’ and ‘peace’ is ‘good’…must be removed from the stage of public debate…by whatever means…a flyswatter…are needed…”
I felt I had just stumbled, indeed, onto government codes about John’s death hidden in the headlines of Time magazine.

Yes, government codes. Lots and lots of them.

A cruel man might point to this and say, okay, here is a guy who seriously just needs to step away from his computer and take a walk. That same cruel man might look at this random assortment of “proof” and see a mind so deeply entrenched in paranoia that it’s more worthy of pity than scorn. Or that cruel man might say that Steve Lightfoot is pure, distilled, plutonium-enriched weapons-grade crazy.

But I am not that man.



Now a man has to almost cover his eyes to keep from seeing what is almost pornography inside a church building.


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

So there’s this post on the United Methodist Reporter blog:

Wes Magruder and his family have been on my prayer list for some time now — since 2004, actually, when they left the friendly confines of the North Texas Conference to serve as GBGM missionaries in Cameroon.

Wes’s family is back but Wes is still stuck there for the time-being. There’s a very nice picture of the Magruders accompanying the post, but lo! Be careful, warns Richard Mummau, lest ye be tempted by the Whores of Babylon:

As a former United Methodist I find if offensive to see pictures of women wearing shorts and appearing in immodest dress. We can remember when our elders would never consider attending church in something other than a dress. Now a man has to almost cover his eyes to keep from seeing what is almost pornography inside a church building. We left the United Methodist because of a social gospel was being preached and no one really wanted to obey the Bible any more. Women preachers – what an abomination.

No, I don’t know how Richard saw that post with that comment and came up with that response. Perhaps it’s best I don’t.

To quote a co-worker upon seeing this comment:

I think that if you were to look at his five wives, they’d all be dressed more modestly.



Not to say I hate blacks,which I don’t or any other race for that matter.But I support the Klan


by Tom Thumb

It might look like a harmless comments thread for this aging YouTube clip, featuring the segment of the KKK sequence from O Brother, Where Art Thou? with Ralph Stanley’s raspy, haunting vocals on “O Death.” Predictably, given the imagery and subject matter, the thread is also a seething petri dish for The Deep Crazy:

I am proud to say I support the KKK,and I don’t give a shit what you think.Oh boohoo they killed a few blacks,no whites are crying at the thousands of whites killed each year by blacks.Not to say I hate blacks,which I don’t or any other race for that matter.But I support the Klan,and I support what ever they have done in history,its no worst then the NACCP and BLA.And trying to make it seem worst then it really was is what most people do,what ever the klan done was for white protection.

That was sportty1, one of several real or pretend race-baiters who transformed what was a fairly benign thread about the beauty of the song and the film into, well, the sort of place you find youngsters like Confederacy101:

they are holy because god made darkys to do whites will and if they don’t do that they serve no longer purpose and waste our oxygen

Now, to their credit, there are a number of sane, non-racist folks trying to talk (or shout) the bigots down. There is also this guy:

I served two years in the state pen from 1990 to 1991 for blowing a KKK faggot away, but it was WORTH IT! I lied to the cops, said he tried to rape me, pleaded self-defense and they bought it-

KellyLCrutcher: self-admitted homophobe. Self-admitted murderer. Self-admitted big fat liar. And he has some advice for young Confederacy101:

If you want to do everyone else a favor put a bullet through your head

Which garnered this hasty reply from stalwart young Confederacy101′s login ID:

This is Confederacys father and I read what he wrote and was appalled by it and he has lost all priveleges including his you tube membership.I told him to appologise, and I too am sorry and embarrassed. I’m not racist, far from it and will more closely moderate his choice of friends. Wanting to put bullets in anyones head is as hateful as the ignorance of racism, please accept this and go in peace.

KellyLCrutcher’s response is enough to put you off breakfast, and contains just a piquant whiff of not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-that:

I’m not african-american but I want to dump every fucking Klan member in the Grand Canyon- hang them, gut them, then dump the bastards.

Well. That was just a bit much for goldrushnumber1′s lily-white ears – and his lily-white organizational skills:

so you want to dump them in the canyon, then hang them, then gut them, then dump them in the canyon again? you stupid faggot, why not just hang them over the canyon, gut them, then drop them in? go to hell you dumb fuck, niggers suck HAIL THE KLAN!

But does KellyLCrutcher back down in the face of evil? Does he heck!

I didn’t post the message you replied to, a friend of mine did.

Truth? Cowardice? Or a snarky callback to his own victory from a Gosh Darn American Hero?

If you’re in the mood to make your head explode, I’ve barely scratched the surface. Take a shower after you click.



The human message goes forth. We are Human. We will never surrender. We shall never surcum. Our Spirit lives on.


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

Did you know the leaders of the world are actually descendants … oh hell, I’ll just let Wikipedia do the work:

According to David Icke, reptilian humanoids are the force behind a worldwide conspiracy directed at manipulation and control of humanity. He contends that most of the world’s leaders, from Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton and George W. Bush to members of the British Royal Family, are in fact related to the 7-foot (2.1 m) tall, blood-drinking reptilians from the star system Alpha Draconis.

These sinister aliens are called Reptoids.

Re-read that as many times as you need to. I’ll be waiting.

Back? Good. There’s more:

When I get letters from people claiming to have seen a person Shape Shift, one factor always stands out. They get very angry which then causes them to literally loose their human composure. It was said that when Al Gore shape shifted live on TV news, he was very angry at the time. In this reported confrontation with Clinton, he was very agitated and angry. I think the photos may be showing a partial shape shift.

Yes, Al Gore shape shifted on live television. Clearly our right wing pundits are falling down on the job if they talk about how “stiff” Gore is but fail to notice that he is in fact a blood-drinking reptile from beyond the stars.

But I feel better knowing someone’s vigilant. Don’t you? Luckily, still others are here to explain it:

The ancient battle between man and dragon has been recorded in the records of just about every past civilization in history. I believe that this conflict between these two races known to me as the Reptilian/Human Conflict is at the heart of why we are on this planet and reason for earth’s existence in the first place. Furthermore I believe this conflict is the basis of the universal game for soul evolution known as The Polarity Integration Game (the game of integrating Light and Dark polarities). Now some of you have felt resistance with the use of the word “game” because you believe that games are only for fun. Let me reiterate the concept that we learn best through games or role-playing. As above, so below.

Well, that made perfect sense. Let’s try another source, to be scientific:

“Divine creatures from the Old Testament, associated with the Cherubim, and later taken to be angels. The root of Seraphim comes either from the Hebrew verb saraph (‘to burn’) or the Hebrew noun saraph (a fiery, flying serpent). Because the term appears several times with reference to the serpents encountered in the wilderness (Num. 21.8, Deut. 8.15; Isa. 14.29; 30.6), it has often been understood to refer to “fiery serpents.” From this it has also often been proposed that the seraphim were serpentine in form and in some sense “fiery” creatures or associated with fire.”

In other words flying dragons of old. Now it is not a stretch to assume that if serpentine Seraphim angels mate with human women the offspring will be Reptilian children. There is much historical records indicating that the inner parts of the earth is inhabited by lizard like humanoid creatures.

The “historical records” in question are Mayan and Hopi myths.

Still, it’s a tough life, knowing the truth.

For me, the events of September 11, 2001 brought this conflict back into focus with a jolt and motivated me to finish this article, having put it aside for several weeks since starting it.

The events of that day sent a message to me. It was a big blow to those of us working to help this planet ascend. And the pain from the wound will take great effort to heal.

Jonathan and I were on our way to do a bit of shopping recently. As we drove down the freeway to our destination, he said, “You know people who don’t know the truth will heal from this trauma, but those of us who do won’t heal because we know too much. Can we ever heal?” As he spoke I felt the pain in his voice and the sadness that comes from such a wounding.

After that there’s some stuff about Space Cats and humanity’s true home planet of Avyon. Good times.



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