The truth outs in the end.


by Ted Grant

Doctor Who fans are crazy. This makes perfect sense when you consider the longevity of the show. They’ve had more time to develop and nurture the crazy than almost any other nerd-attracting program. And the best illustration of this are the arguements. You see, the less important an issue becomes, the more loudly people will argue about it. Take, for example, the raging debate over whether or not the upcoming series of the show is the fourth series or not.

All this series 4 nonsense should now be washed away. Honestly who can call a series series 4 when 29 series have preceeded it?

The same stupid BBC that rejected Red Dwarf IX. The same stupid BBC that cancelled Doctor Who in the first place. The same BBC that panders to thugs etc by being so politically correct.

Why not? If Red Dwarf came back should it be called series one again? If Men Behaving Badly came back should that be series one again? The facts are it’s the same series not a reset or anything like that so it is Season/Series/Whatever 30. It makes perfect sense. Having Series One follow Season 26, Dimensions in Time, TV Movie is absurd.

But it is SERIES FOUR, because that is what BBC Wales, the people who are actually making it are calling it. The fact that DWM called it Series 30 once, in a headline of article about SERIES FOUR is just a coincidence. It will remain the thirtieth series of something called Doctor Who but its official title is Series Four. Fans can call it what they like, but it remains Series Four.

Twaddle you can’t call it the 4TH SERIES/SERIES 4 BECAUSE THAT WAS ON IN THE 1960S ABSOLUTE RUBBISH i DON’T CARE WHat bbc Wales say they have no right to reset the numbering they didn’t create Doctor Who.

Doesn’t matter what the BBC are calling it. There have been 29 seasons prior to this one. It’s 30.

Ever wondered why Dr Who fans have a reputation for being uptight, anal, unbalanced obsessives?

The only reason they’ve adopted the ludicrous new numbering is because they stupidly think the audience will be confused by reminders that the show has been around so long. It’s disrespectful to a British institution .

I’m really, really sorry for you that you haven’t got the version of the show back that you want, but I‘m tired of hearing you bleat on and on and on about it. Can’t you stop being quite so bloody selfish and appreciate how much a hell of a lot of other people are enjoying it?



I find this quite realistic, despite your complaining. That’s how women are. They like assholes.


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

The people of Scans_Daily are invested in their comics. I mean really invested in their comics.

It’s not like we didn’t know this was coming, but still. In what universe is this childish sack of ambulatory refuse good enough for Diana?

Okay, well, I can certainly understand a bit of passion when it comes to your favorite stories and characters. Lord knows I grumble when some of my favorite characters are written poorly. But I have my limits. “the Azure Cascade” does not:

These comic book creators, they have TOO MUCH POWER and they’ve PROVEN THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!! D’you see what you’ve driven me to here, Gail? I’ve gone Batman-level nuts over this. I hope you’re happy.

I’m sure writer Gail Simone is happy. I’m sure she’s so thrilled she’s investing in kevlar vests because Wonder Woman fans are psychotic. From the comments:

This is why it’s stupid to trust any storyteller, regardless of media. Believing that a once-decent writer won’t eventually fuck up beyond repair (see also: almost every brand-name writer in comics right now) is like believing that the universe is ruled by a benevolent God - it’s a form of faith that will always be disproven eventually.

Or:

*dies a little inside* Gah. The lip thing is just the worse part of it there, AND with the whole ‘bedroom eyes’. Skrull. I know this isn’t Marvel but I don’t care. That’s my answer and I’m sticking to it. *prefers denial*

Or:

I’ve found, after punching walls from the similar treatment of Oracle, that a steak will help that bruise.

Or (bonus misogyny points!!!!!!):

I find this quite realistic, despite your complaining. That’s how women are. They like assholes. She’s Wonder Woman, yeah, but she’s still a woman.

Simone herself responded to the original post, because she’s Gail Simone and generally pretty hip to the “online interaction” thing. She basically fell all over herself to explain the situation and ask for people to consider context. “the Azure Cascade” took this to be Simone “chastising” her.



What’s with Whedon and bitches?


by Sluggo, Agent of N.A.N.C.Y.

That bastion of entertainment reporting, Ain’t It Cool News, has a brief report on current goings-on regarding Dollhouse, the new television series by Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, and starring occasional Buffy guest-slayer Eliza Dushku.

In the comments section for that article, some wonder what’s up with Whedon and his obsession with strong young women, such as sith_rising:

What’s with Whedon and bitches?

Did he not have any strong males in his life or something? The guy worships women to the point of creepiness. He probably pays chicks to kick his ass ala Payback.

Others wonder why Mr. Whedon doesn’t simply go back to doing what he apparently does best:

Screw this shit.

If these 2 are getting together and not making a Buffyverse series then they are truly mental.

There is already a fan base which is still in place after around, what, 5 years? This thing could be huge. Buffy and Angel are 2 of the best series that have been on the TV for years, compared to this which sounds shit. Does no self respecting creator/actress want a cash cow any more?

One gentleman has jumped the gun a bit, and has already prepared the following letter:

FOX: DON’T CANCEL ‘DOLLHOUSE’

To Whom It May Concern:

Dollhouse is one of the most original shows to air on television, and certainly on your network, since your early cancellation of Joss Whedon’s ‘Firefly,’ a move which has cost you dearly in viewers and PR in the years hence.

Since the incredible pilot, ‘Dollhouse’ has only increased in quality. Ms. Dushku represents the sort of strong female role that is missing on television, and the show itself is a powerful allegory for the situation the world is in right now.

I am aware that ‘Dollhouse’ is only pulling in eight million viewers a week, but it is second in its demo, and with a better time slot and lead-in, I’m sure that could be brought up to twelve or thirteen million next season. Add to this that iTunes sales are currently high, and DVD sales will certainly be high, and it should be clear that ‘Dollhouse’ is a money-making factory that doesn’t come around every day.

I promise you, if you cancel ‘Dollhouse’ at this time, I will be finished. Your network will have screwed me over for the last time, and I will NEVER get attached to another show on Fox again.

Until the next one.

I suspect that last fellow’s tongue may firmly be in his cheek, but let’s consider it a preview of the more sincere despair and wailing on LiveJournals and message boards across the land when the series does get the axe.



Bad Vampire Poetry


by evilolive

Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series of books has often been called “The Next Harry Potter”. With a movie in production, Twilight fans are in a frenzy and much like Harry Potter, all that energy is being used to create fanfic and poetry.
In the Twilight books the heroine Bella is the focus of affection for Edward (an incredibly handsome vampire) and Jacob (an incredibly handsome Native American werewolf). Fans love to debate who she will end up with. Let’s sit back and be transported through poetry:

Without You
Topaz eyes so soft and sweet
Life without you is incomplete.
You left me there in the wood
You said it was for my own damn good.
You swore that you loved me with all of your heart
But then you just went and tore it apart.
You might as well have sucked me dry
….
I can’t love Mike or even Jake
For then I’d be lying knowing that love is all fake.
So bring me my heart so I can breathe air
Bring yourself back too and make it fair.
I need you now more than ever before
You are the apple of my core.
You are the trunk of my stable tree
Edward Cullen please bite me.


She is Gone

I wonder if she’ll ever come back
Will she become my enemy?
Or will she stay as she is?
She gets up from my bed
Is that her last look?
The door closes
My eyes sting
She is
Gone

Meadow Poem

The beauty of the moment, oh so rare
Sinking in its breathtaking flair

And as they sat there, vowing their love
The sun was glistening from above
The wind echoed the promises they made
Blowing away their supposed fate

The predator fell, so hard, so deep
For his prey, the trusting sheep
And the lamb, with beating heart
Told him she never wanted ever to part

From him, this moment, his cold skin
His venom breath, the sweetest sin,
She craved to be close, he needed to be
But her blood wanted his senses free



Riding the PC train to death by using John Stewart..


by Kevin Church

So, the powers that be at Warner Brothers are in the process of making a Justice League movie, featuring all the big guns: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, etc, etc, et cetera. Now the problem here in many people’s minds is that it will confuse filmgoers expecting to see Routh as our favorite Kryptonian or Patrick Bateman as Batman. A reasonable concern, especially considering as how everybody seemed positively baffled that Smallville had nothing to do with Superman Returns.

Thankfully, K-DoG7p7 has a solution:

So.. the JLA movie is back on track and start shooting the first week in May. Yet not a singel fan of the characters are enjoying the news.. the closes i have yet to hear is “Ohh a JLA movie that nice.. but….” there is always a but…
Like setting the movie in an alternate universe then the other DC movies being made at the same time!, New actors for part that are already filled by other actors..Brandon Ruth is Superman, Christan Bale is Batman.. get it in to your heads!!
Riding the PC train to death by using John Stewart.. even worse is the fact that there is a GL movie coming about Hal..

Now if WB really wants a JLA movie and really want to NOT use the actors already playing the parts.. then I have a really easy solution..

MAKE ‘KINGDOM COME‘!!

you get all the major characters..
you get a good reason to cast different actors (as superman and batman are quite a bit older)
you get a larger cast and get to show off more of the DCU
you get to show the fans the true difference between Supeman and Batman..
Also…

Superman vs Captain Marvel!

so please WB.. can the JLA movie and make Kingdom Come instead!

That’s right - cast aside the youth-oriented summer blockbuster you’re making and instead use one of the most continuity-dependent comics in the history of the medium as the basis for a film where Superman creates gulags for his enemies, Batman’s turned Gotham into a fascist state, and Wonder Woman looks like the least successful M2F ever.

The whole thread’s pretty golden, so make sure you click over. Thanks to Jeff at Conditional Axe for pointing this out!



It’s like 4kids’ raping of One Piece, or even Yugioh.


by Kevin Church

Commentary would only diminish the brilliance here, so we’re just going to present this post from the snarkoleptics community on LiveJournal in its original form:

Why do American Distributors have to dick with everything they bring over from Japan? I can understand dubbing the series; I can also see, all be it begrudgingly, recasting and reshooting the series with an cast for the “area” if you see it needed, but what I can’t understand is. Why buy the rights to reproduce a series for American viewers only to totally manhandle the series and dumb it down for another cast?

Is it not enough this series has been running for thirty-six years in Japan without your tweaks? Why do you have to then dumb it down for a younger age-group, as well as rape and fill the series with PC bullshit so that when people, like myself, mention that they watch the original series everyone laughs and thinks of “That dumb kid’s show.”

Of course, I refer to Saban’s, and currently Buena Vista’s Mighty Morphing Power Rangers franchise. they’re taking a series aimed at a Teen-young adult age market and dumbing it down to drivel that most eight year olds wouldn’t buy on a good day, and now, now I find out, they’re considering doing the same thing to the Kamen Rider Franchise (Again.).

So, honestly, why in the hell do American Distributors have to dick with a series? It’s like 4kids’ raping of One Piece, or even Yugioh. I’ve never understood the need to turn a series into something it wasn’t.



it took her this long to file a lawsuit for this airfreshiner lawsuit probably would not have happend if transformers sucked at the boxoffice but with the popularity the film has made she decides to sue since the movie made that much money in the first place.


by Kevin Church

Alia Madden designed an air freshener in 2002 that featured a bee. A remarkably similar design showed up in 2007’s Transformers film. Madden, doing the logical thing, decided that she didn’t like her work being stolen and used in a commercial vehicle without credit or compensation and sued the production team. Of course, this means that the sharp legal minds in Transformers fandom had to have their say.

Once the first round of bitching about the prevalence of lawsuits is finished, Nemesis_Apoc decides it’s time for the Misogyny Train to come through the station:

bitch

He’s pretty much ignored so that reasonable heads can speak their mind, such as Bombus distinguendus, who must have taken a break from reviewing a legal brief to hammer this out:

this will settel out of court with prob a written apology. 850k isnt alot for dreamworks…thats like pocket change, i feel bad for her cuz if this is true her reputation has since suffered cuz ppl think she copyed from the movie and no one belives her that she didnt. that would irritate me enough to sue oh well. the story gave me a good laugh.

PrimulArchangel, however, is having none of this, and hammered out a response that would make Atticus Finch quake in his boots:

She’s just trying to cash in.. If the movie was a flop she would have never done this , Typical .. Got to love america we can sue for anything we want ,, WTF she think dreamworks was going to use them for ?? Got to be a dumb ass to have a movie studio buy stuff from you and not know it will be used in a movie.. What did she think they woud be handed out to actors to keep there trailers smelling nice ? LOL .. She knew exactly what was up and then someone probably put the idea into her head that ” hey ya know , you can sue them and say you didnt give permission cause nothing was in writing !!!”
You got to be completely stupid to be upset about being part of a movie like this, she’s making a nice chunk of change because of this .

Then, maddingly, there’s four or five reasonable responses to the matter, stating that there was most likely some miscommunication, but there should be some sort of compensation, especially if there were licensed air fresheners that used her design. Thankfully, BlackOut2K8 is there to provide a double dose of…something.

It took her this long to notice something this small? People today are always looking for something to sue over, it ain’t like Dreamworks is making replicas of the freaken air freshener and selling them under their own name. The case mat be thrown out due to lack of evidence towards damages or she may get way less because Dreamworks aren’t claiming its their design. In any case it’s something stupid and how the legal system is having all these loopholes people are suing for all types of stupid $h!t for @$$ loads of money and in the end they don’t even get 1/3 of the so called damages. Someone please swat this b!tch upside her fat head. :HEADHURTS: :BOOM:

Oh, that’s right, idiocy and more misogyny. And an apparent fear of actually cursing, the fuckbag.

dragons has two cents and he’s not afraid to throw it in:

how sad poeple are idiotic they will do anything to try to get free money even lower them shelves as something stupid lawsuits like this one to try and get money poeple are sue happy i read somewhere some guy is suing mtv for the rights of the jacka$$ name stating the mtv used his name which is jacka$$ for the title of the show and the movies without his permission you need to be called a jacka$$ for suing something dumb like that.

it took her this long to file a lawsuit for this airfreshiner lawsuit probably would not have happend if transformers sucked at the boxoffice but with the popularity the film has made she decides to sue since the movie made that much money in the first place.

This goes on and on and on until somebody called Sherad who’s spending his time arguing over a legal matter he has no connection to on a Transformers blog breaks out this bon mot that pretty much heralds the end of Western Civilization:

Anyhow, my point stands.
It’s an air freshener.
And you all say “but it’s her propperty…”, so here’s what I think. If I was desinging air fresheners to start, I should:
1. Rethink my life plans.
2. Hope I’m working for a larger company who exports to smaller companies or just happens to be the biggest Air Freshener company in the world.
3. There’s a slight chance that I’d be happy with my job, taking what I get.

These are just some of the highlights. If you feel like putting on your waders and going into the deep end yourself, have at it.

Thanks to Derooftrouser for the tip. I think.



Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to go alert every movie news website in the world about this post.


by Ted Grant

Star Wars fans are angry. Very angry. It seems that sometime back a fan/director by the name of Kyle Newman made a short film about some Star Wars nerds who break into Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of The Phantom Menace for a friend. Who is dying. Of cancer. Sounds like a comedy gold-mine, right? Well, the Weinstein Company, who picked up the distribution rights for Newman’s short decided that, in a recut and expanded version, maybe children dying of cancer wouldn’t sit well with your average film-goer.

And then a great darkness was felt in the force, as these brave, noble fanboys rose up as one to protest this great injustice. How, you may ask? Why by launching a life-time boycott of every film released by the Weinstein Company.

The head of the Weinstein Company, Harvey Weinstein, seems to think he’ll make more money if he rips the heart out of the movie and turns it into another mindless comedy. And he thinks fans like us won’t mind if he recuts FANBOYS so that it portrays Star Wars fans as idiotic criminals who would break into George Lucas’s offices just because they’re hopeless dorks.

Well guess what, Darth Weinstein? We mind. We’re sick of being told what we want to see, by people who have zero respect for their audience. We’re sick of moronic movie studios turning smart movies into dumb ones, because you think dumb sells!

We, the millions of Star Wars fans around the world, aren’t going to take it lying down. This time, you’ve messed with the Rebel Alliance. We hereby demand that the original version of Fanboys be released!!!

If you don’t release the REAL version, we won’t go see it!

We won’t buy the DVD!

AND WE VOW TO BOYCOTT EVERY SINGLE MOVIE RELEASED BY THE WEINSTEIN COMPANY (and DIMENSION FILMS) until you release the original cut of Fanboys!

In case you didn’t get that last part, we’re going to put it in big bold letters.

RELEASE THE ORIGINAL CUT OF FANBOYS OR MILLIONS OF STAR WARS FANS WILL BOYCOTT EVERY SINGLE WEINSTEIN COMPANY FILM!

(Except for maybe Kevin Smith’s movies, because we really like those.
But all of your other movies? BOYCOTT! Lifetime BOYCOTT, Darth Weinstein!!!)

We’ll start with SUPERHERO MOVIE next month, if our demands are not met!
We’re not kidding!

It should come as no surprise to anyone who has ever witnessed nerd fury before that there is an exception to their complete and total lifetime boycott.

But wait, there’s more! What could be the most effective way of contacting the Weinstein Company about your unhappiness? A co-ordinated letter-writing campaign? Polite, well-reasoned missives clearly articulating your point? Or rude and angry e-mail carpet bombings of everyone who works for the company? Oh, and don’t forget to call the people involved in the decision “cute” names. Nothing tells people you’re a serious grown-up more than calling them a Brill-O-Head.

Of course, the real question is: is the film they’re so up in arms about worth all this anger? Well, here are some fan reviews:

Quite simply, Fanboys is a film that Kevin Smith wishes he would have made. The film has a lot of the same elements as a Kevin Smith movie except Fanboys has one major advantage, it has been directed.

While I don’t want to spoil all of the people who appear in the movie, as seeing them pop up during the second half is quite fun, a scene that made my friends and I laugh out loud featured an appearance by the one and only Harry Knowles, the Ain’t it Cool News master chief.

One of the main characters only listens to Rush and the songs The Spirit of Radio and Red Barchetta play a big part in some of the action. And Weezer. Any film that uses anything off Weezer’s Blue CD gets big thumbs up from me.

Finally, I think we need to let the mass murdering villain of Watchmen have the last word on this one:

Respect the fanboys, damn it.
by AdrianVeidt Jan 14th, 2008
04:12:04 PM

Honestly, if you’re going to call yourself that, then fucking respect those that you are basing the movie off of - us the fans. We are the ones who made Star Wars what it still is today. We are the ones who make it live on, and always live on, through posters and memorabilia and every ounce of marketing that we embrace as collector’s items. We are the ones that could finally have a voice and a representation in a movie named after us. Respect us. Respect us as we desperately cry out for you to keep the soul of this movie intact.

One can’t help but imagine Harvey Weinstein, munching on a bagel first thing in the morning and then stopping as he comes across such impassioned rhetoric. He pauses for a moment, perhaps letting the words wash over him. Maybe he finds that there’s a glimmer of truth buried in this madness. Then he gets up, goes to the refrigerator, and grabs the light cream cheese and gets on with his day.



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