i have 4


by Kevin Church

Is it just me, or does this seem like it’s written in LOLCat?

Seriously.

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Um, dude.

I don’t know quite how to frame this.

But. I’m going to try.

You’re doing it wrong. This is “Missed Connections,” not “I’m Going To Cut You.” Craigslist doesn’t offer the latter.

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Sure, we all liked the Hitchcock riff that was Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in Silver Streak.

We may have even sat through the entirety of James Cameron’s bloated Titanic.

But I think we can all agree that $50 for a pair of VHS cassettes you could get at Goodwill for $2.00 is a bit stupid.

(Also, wouldn’t you have to go back in time to 1987 to buy a VCR anymore?)

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I have no idea what this post from the New York City “Wanted” board is really about, but from a glance, it looks like somebody’s attempt to start a specialty brothel. Or maybe a plants, chemicals, and backgrounds store. I mean, haven’t we all needed a background or air line at some point?

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You know, I’m not a naturally suspicious fellow, but:

  1. Going to Craiglist first for a charity event is sort of like going to email first to help a deposed African king.
  2. The only capitalized letter in the posting is “I,” which is something that I’m sure a psychologist would have a field day with.
  3. Anonymity in a first-wave charity staffing request is…dubious, to say the least.



Maybe this will be a new feature, maybe not, but please feel free to send in the “best” Craigslist posts you can find to kevin(at)getofftheinternet(dot)org. Today, we feature what I can only suspect is a young man’s sincere hope that he can pay for his pre-order of Grand Theft Auto 4 by recycling a gift he got from his Nana. Poor old woman doesn’t know anything about your Kintendos or Space Stations…