And Captain America is secretly an Islamofascist


by Ted Grant

The Canadian commentator Mark Steyn recently wrote a review of Mark Evanier’s new biography of Jack Kirby. It’s notable for being one of the only times you’re likely to come across a “conservative” taking the side of labor in a dispute with management, but what really elevates it to level of sheer nuttiness is this passage:

Stan was Marvel’s head writer and presiding genius and, to a couple of generations of readers, Mister Comics. (I met him briefly at the Democratic convention in Los Angeles in 2000: yes, he’s a Democrat — why do you think comic-book heroes gave up truth, justice and the American way to sit around on rooftops like Spidey riddled with self-doubt about whether their awesome powers are a blessing or a curse?)

Yes, that’s right, Stan’s political affiliations are the reason Spidey is mopey. I suppose if Spider-Man was created by a conservative, he’d be out there beating up hippies and commies and abortionists and the gays like a good American.

Oh, wait, Steve Ditko created Spider-Man, and he’s a Randian Libertarian.

Guess Steyn’s just an idiot, then.



With a name like Brave & The Bold i’d hoped we’d get a faithful cartoon for the geek crowd, but thats just insane.


by Ted Grant

A new, kid-focused Batman team-up cartoon has been announced.

Comic fans are not happy. Well, are they ever?

Comedy???? Ugh, is it just me or is this looking like Superfriends?

Oh my god it got worse. I didn’t think it was possible it could get worse, but they actually did it, they out sucked The Batman. With a name like Brave & The Bold i’d hoped we’d get a faithful cartoon for the geek crowd, but thats just insane.

I’ve always said that there should be two sets of DC cartoons. One aimed at young kids, and the other for older kids and us fan boys. We have to hook the new generation while there young. Hopefully the WB will keep cranking out DTV for us old folk.

Hmmm…split your production budget into something a large number of people will enjoy and something about 20,000 people will enjoy? Or spend it all on the one that will actually make money. Touch choice there…

Let’s go and see if there’s anyone sane at Newsarama commenting on this:

So what if kids arent buying them, do they have to? If the stories are aimed at adults and the prices the same what is to stop people from getting into them when they are adult?
You dont see people screaming once a month about how the porn industry is dying because kids arent buying it

You’re seriously comparing super-hero comics to porn? Seriously? That’s really very telling, now isn’t it?



i know a possible investment when i see one


by pico -d gallo

Woot is one of the many internet shops that uses the model of selling one item a day at a low cost, until either the day is over or the item runs out. It’s a bizarre marketing practice, but I guess it works for them.

April 15th’s item of the day was a pack of ten random Marvel comics for six bucks. This seems like an especially odd thing to feature, and even the sales pitch itself seems skeptical:

So why drop six bucks postpaid on this bundle when you could just go to a comic store and grab a handful of quarter-bin mags? For one thing, that would require you to enter a comic store. Even worse, you may have to interact with the menacing life-forms you encounter within — an especially daunting prospect if you happen to be female.

More importantly, though, once you start digging through the quarter bin, you have to possess the willpower of Daredevil to stop. It’s nigh-unto impossible to walk away from those tantalizing rows of unknown comics, holding the promise of a cheap, misplaced copy of Amazing Fantasy #15 or the complete Squadron Supreme maxi-series. Entire afternoons can be lost in such vainglorious quests.

Better to avoid the temptation. Better to let the hand of fate pluck ten, or twenty, or thirty random Marvels from the morass. We won’t stare at your chest, or make you smell our underwashed bodies, or mock you for not knowing the difference between the X-Men and the Ultimate X-Men. And you need not fear the lure of the quarter bin.

At this point I’d like to bring to your attention that ten comics for six bucks means they’re also more expensive than a quarter, but considering that “quarter bins” are now more often “dollar boxes”, we’ll let it slide. Instead, let’s look at the list of comics from which your ten gems will be selected. Pay attention to these; there will be a quiz.

You will receive 10 comics from the following list:

* X-Men The Movie Prequel Rogue
* X-Men The Movie Prequel Magneto
* Wolverine/Cable — Return of the Native Part 5
* Wolverine/Cable — Gus & Glory
* Wolverine Evilution
* Warlock “Second Coming pt. 2
* Thor Son of Asgard Part 6
* The Call of Duty Also Featuring Daredevil the man without Fear
* Spider-Man Team Up w/Kitty Pryde
* Spider-Man Made Men
* Spider-Man — The Amazing Spider-Man — Vibes
* Sabetooth — Back to Nature
* Runaways also featuring Sentinel Issues 1 & 2
* Rogue “Going Rouge” Part 4 of 6
* Marvel Must Haves — Truth — Red, White & Black
* Man-Thing — Whatever Knows Fear
* IronMan — The Iron Age Part 2 of 2
* IronMan — The Iron Age Part 1 of 2
* Incredible Hulk “Huck”
* Hulk “Big Thing” Part 3 of 4
* Hulk
* Gus Beezer and Spider-Man
* Guardians — Reach for the Stars Part 1
* Fantastic 4 Prisoners of Doctor Doom
* Fantastic 4 — Disassembles
* Excalibur “Forging the Sword”
* Captain America
* 1602 Part 6

Don’t worry that you’re only getting parts of some stories. Parts One and Two of Hulk “Big Thing” aren’t really vital to the story, and part Four is just folks standing around going, “Remember that big thing? That was wild.”

Every Woot “deal” has user commentary on it. Let’s see what the folks who regularly shop at Woot had to say about this one.

“dsgitlin” fails the quiz right away:

Ha…this brings me back to my childhood and rummaging through the quarter bins. Yes, absolutely, in for three. Hopefully I’ll get some Power Man/Iron Fist sent my way.

Hope all you want. Neither Power Man nor Iron Fist are on the list.

“aoffiler” sees nothing but dollar signs:

im not a comic fan but i know a possible investment when i see one. can anyone tell me if these are worth while?

“greengert” taunts him:

since you know an investment when you see one… why dont YOU tell US if these are worthwhile?

And “aoffiler”, his reputation on the line, asserts:

well if all goes as planned im in for 3… so yes this is an excellent investment.

‘NUFF SAID!

“ericsmithrocks” is a better username than “ericsmithcalculates”:

This is cool! In for three… which means 30 comics!

Note that there are only 28 comics on the list. “alvinlee123″ asks:

30 comics for 8 bucks, what are thes odds of getting the same comics more than once?

I repeat: Note that there are only 28 comics on the list. “TheStorm042″ comes to the rescue with his incredible “counting” ability:

Since there are only 28 possibilities, pretty good, I’d say.

But “shento” ripostes:

ummm more than one comic in the series, I’m sure… sooooo

chances are slim to some – to get a duplicate…. guess you don’t read comics?

PUT THAT IN YOUR MATHS AND SMOKE IT, SMARTY-PANTS!

“Mjar41″ knows what the SMART comics investors ask:

Are these comics in mint condition?

“DocThan.com” follows up with:

Are these in English or Japanese ?

I don’t know whether I should cheer or jeer “wscraig”:

The fact that these are sold out this quickly is disturbing. Not because I wanted them. But because so many of you do.

Who are you people and how are you allowed to hold jobs and drive cars?

You won’t like the answer:

I’m in for 30. “Hello comic book man, what’ll ya give mefor these”

Oh look, here’s the guy:

Please sell some Bondage Fairies comics next time, woot.

“LANShark125″ is outraged, OUTRAGED that Woot is trafficking in such trivialities!

Comic books? COMIC BOOKS??? And this doesn’t even look to be a bargain…

Sad times in Wootdom…

finally, “octavia”:

I wonder if any woman would actually buy these for herself. Oh well, men and their comics and penises, I just don’t get it!

Me neither!



…Does anyone really support reparations? This is the same thing.


by Sluggo, Agent of N.A.N.C.Y.

One of the great screwings in the history of the comic book industry is that of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the creators of Superman. Selling their creation for a pittance in 1938, the two lived in near-poverty for decades while watching their brainchild rake in millions for the publisher, DC Comics. It wasn’t until the late ’70s, when the big-budget Superman movie was about to be released, that DC, afraid of a public backlash against the film if it were found out how Superman’s creators had been treated, finally was shamed into paying both Siegel and Shuster a yearly sum.

Recently, after many a hearing and court session, the copyright to the very first Superman story in Action Comics #1 was awarded to Siegel’s surviving family, which will likely lead to even more money going in the direction of the creator, or at least his estate. This is a Good Thing, another step in redressing the treatment of the men who essentially created the modern comic book industry.

Of course, some fans think otherwise. Like this fella:

…Oh boy. Another disaster brought on by Siegel heir greed. The last money grab they pulled off resulted in Superboy getting axed, now I can see DC panicking and start monkeying around with the Big Red S to change him enough so that he’s no longer anything that resembles Superman.

Enough is enough. Get a judge in on this mess that understands a) copyright law, and b) the fans are more important than a couple of greedy grandkids!

And there are a few folks in this comics blog discussion who also believe those two guys got more than enough from their creation, and should certainly not have been concerned about providing for their families:

Why they sold the rights they shouldnt get anything.

They shouldnt even get royalties they gave up that when they signed over the rights.

THEY SIGNED THE RIGHTS AWAY NOT WITH A GUN TO THEIR HEAD AND NOT ONCE BUT TWICE WHEN THEY SETTLED IN COURT IN 1948. ENOUGH ALREADY.

Gimme a break. They were paid in 1938. They were paid off in 1968. Again in 1978. They kept taking the money and suing again, Time Warner will keep this tied up for decades and that’s good.

As the end consumers.. we will be the ones paying for this. Keep this in mind next time comics prices rise, or your favorite book gets cancelled because it’s not selling well enough (less profit = less flexibility), or when they decide that making a Superman Movie or cartoon is not financially viable because of ‘licensing’ fees.

Superman
Created by Siegel and Shuster
Raised by DC
Killed by the Siegels

How greedy are the Siegels anyway. What they’re doing is killing the character that their father co-created. Yes, Siegel and Shuster should have been taken care of WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE. They’re not. Why should their kids be profiting off of their deceased parents?

Someone threw out the ‘slave argument’ but at the risk of getting politically incorrect, does anyone really support reparations? This is the same thing.



If you could pick one GL to become gay, who would it be?


by Ted Grant

Over at the DC Comics message board, homosexual comic book characters tends to be a…touchy subject. Which is why the sheer reasonableness of this thread on the subject in the Green Lantern section is so shocking.

Luckily, user “renaudman” comes along to remind us where we are:

Just dumb stupid cheap shock value gimmickry to turn a character gay, especially to please 5% of a population, that don’t even care about Green Lanterns to begin with, except a few to bastardize one

Again, if those Want-My Gay-Superhero boys don’t have the balls to create their own, and put their money where there mouth is, and live by those characters, than maybe they should stop whining about bastardizing other people’s creations

Queezada bastardizing the Rawhide Kid in one of his wetdream agenda was bad enough.

Yes, “renaudman” is apparently still complaining about a western comic book that came out five years ago and was quickly forgotten by everyone else. He really hates him some homos, I guess.



I am happy to fulfill this request.


by Kevin Church

4chan is infamous.

Things like the thread below, beginning with the first response displayed, are why.

(Strangely, I’ve found that a higher-than-average number of the denizens there can actually spell, find the shift key, and punctuate. I don’t know if this worries me more or less…)

4chan_thread.jpg



I find this quite realistic, despite your complaining. That’s how women are. They like assholes.


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

The people of Scans_Daily are invested in their comics. I mean really invested in their comics.

It’s not like we didn’t know this was coming, but still. In what universe is this childish sack of ambulatory refuse good enough for Diana?

Okay, well, I can certainly understand a bit of passion when it comes to your favorite stories and characters. Lord knows I grumble when some of my favorite characters are written poorly. But I have my limits. “the Azure Cascade” does not:

These comic book creators, they have TOO MUCH POWER and they’ve PROVEN THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED!!!! D’you see what you’ve driven me to here, Gail? I’ve gone Batman-level nuts over this. I hope you’re happy.

I’m sure writer Gail Simone is happy. I’m sure she’s so thrilled she’s investing in kevlar vests because Wonder Woman fans are psychotic. From the comments:

This is why it’s stupid to trust any storyteller, regardless of media. Believing that a once-decent writer won’t eventually fuck up beyond repair (see also: almost every brand-name writer in comics right now) is like believing that the universe is ruled by a benevolent God – it’s a form of faith that will always be disproven eventually.

Or:

*dies a little inside* Gah. The lip thing is just the worse part of it there, AND with the whole ‘bedroom eyes’. Skrull. I know this isn’t Marvel but I don’t care. That’s my answer and I’m sticking to it. *prefers denial*

Or:

I’ve found, after punching walls from the similar treatment of Oracle, that a steak will help that bruise.

Or (bonus misogyny points!!!!!!):

I find this quite realistic, despite your complaining. That’s how women are. They like assholes. She’s Wonder Woman, yeah, but she’s still a woman.

Simone herself responded to the original post, because she’s Gail Simone and generally pretty hip to the “online interaction” thing. She basically fell all over herself to explain the situation and ask for people to consider context. “the Azure Cascade” took this to be Simone “chastising” her.



The only problem is, this time around we don’t have the socially liberal Stan Lee at the helm, and a very dangerous National Socialist agenda is being pushed alongside the idea that science is cool, stay in school.


by Kevin Church

Wired Magazine‘s blogger Geekdad did a (hyper-predictable) rundown of 10 superhero comics your kids should be reading right now. Commentors begin to offer suggestions that aren’t from Marvel and DC and everything seems fine and dandy. That is, of course, until “hsing lee” shows up to impart a special kind of magic to the proceedings.

oh man… essay time. My apologies in advance for being long winded.

I grew up on comic books. Learned to read quite proficiently by age three thanks to Stan Lee’s Hulk, Thor, Spider-Man, FF, Avengers and X-Men. Grew up with DC’s JLA, Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
I also learned a hell of a lot of critical thinking from Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Silver Surfer and of course the one and only Captain America… more on Cap later.
The way these comics are written helps kids pick up a vocabulary FAST, as they’re able to derive the meaning of words they don’t know via contextual inference from the words prior to and after the unknown word.
But there IS a problem inherent in sticking to just Marvel and/or DC comics. There is a definite America-centric nationalism and pro-military industrial complex fascism to be found in the pages of these comics, especially in Iron Man, and Superman. KEEP YOUR KIDS WAY THE HELL AWAY FROM IRON MAN unless you want them to be pro-war and lifelong Republicans.
The balance to these views my parents included in my comic book obsession was to add Asterix, Tin Tin, and comic book adaptions of the literary classics to my reading list. The adaptations of the classics were so helpful that I was reading the REAL classics, and even Shakespeare, by age five… the comics breed a desire to explore the subject matter of classic literature on a more in-depth level.
I grant you, my reading skills were atypically fast. But the model can be applied to others at their own pace. I actually helped tutor some kids in High School, fellow students who were in my English classes – using the exact same methodology my parents used on me… Comics, Sesame Street and Electric Company… to help some kids who really couldn’t read at all get caught up by the time they hit Grade 10.
But something sinister is happening at Marvel and DC today. Marvel’s Ultimate Universe comics have turned Captain America into a rude and violent Nationalist fascist with an anti-constitutional theocratic mind set. Where he once stood for the ideals set out in the founding papers of the Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill Of Rights, where he once stood as a champion of ALL oppressed people, where he once stood as a symbol of the need for an informed public to do their patriotic duty by standing up to their government when the government does wrong, the Marvel Ultimate Universe Captain America is now a mouthpiece of the Bush Administration and a pro-torture, pro-killing, pro-government secrecy, anti-habeas corpus, anti-Constitutional rights asshole.
And in the normal Marvel Comics line, they killed off Steve Rogers, the old Cap, and replaced him with a new Cap who is a former DIA and KGB assassin who carries a gun and kills people.
Marvel and DC have always been intricately connected with US government social engineering. Most people don’t realize that Stan Lee was an official member of military intelligence for a number of years. From wiki…

“…Lee entered the U.S. Army in early 1942 and served stateside in the Signal Corps, writing manuals, training films, and slogans, and occasionally cartooning. His military classification, he says, was “playwright”; he adds that only nine men in the U.S. Army were given that title… …Lee returned from his World War II military service in 1945…”
America needed Scientists during the Cold War. Physicists, biochemists, engineers, were needed badly in order for America to stay ahead of the Soviets. Take a look at Stan Lee’s Marvel Line up…
-Hulk/Bruce Banner – Gamma Ray physicist.
-Mr.Fantastic/Reed Richards – Renaissance man scientist with the world’s hottest girlfriend.
-Iron Man/Tony Stark – billionaire industrialist who got rich making weapons due to his skill as an applied science engineer.
-Thor/Donald Blake – a physician.
-Ant-Man/Hank Pym – Bio-engineer.
-The Beast/Henry Pym – Bio-engineer.
-Spider-Man/Peter Parker – science student so gifted that he made his own web shooters.
- Dr. Strange – formerly one of the world’s top surgeons.
They created these characters to encourage kids to stay in school, learn about science, and become tomorrow’s leaders. And it bloody well worked. Today, America has a brain drain. Half of all your theoretical and applied physics scientists will be of retirement age within ten years, and there are barely any students in the pipeline to replace them. Which is why so many of these old Scientists turned Superhero are now getting $100 million dollar movies greenlighted by Hollywood… your government wants to fill the brain gap once again.
The only problem is, this time around we don’t have the socially liberal Stan Lee at the helm, and a very dangerous National Socialist agenda is being pushed alongside the idea that science is cool, stay in school.
My advice would be to keep your kids way, way, WAY away from any of the Ultimate Marvel comics until they’re old enough to know the difference between fiction and propaganda. The Ultimates are a great adult read, but they’re also potentially dangerous to give an unformed and uninformed young mind.
Marvel Adventures is cool. Asterix is cool. TinTin is cool. Adaptations of the Literary classics are cool. But beware the Ultimates. Down that path lies a generation of Hitler Youth.



Riding the PC train to death by using John Stewart..


by Kevin Church

So, the powers that be at Warner Brothers are in the process of making a Justice League movie, featuring all the big guns: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, etc, etc, et cetera. Now the problem here in many people’s minds is that it will confuse filmgoers expecting to see Routh as our favorite Kryptonian or Patrick Bateman as Batman. A reasonable concern, especially considering as how everybody seemed positively baffled that Smallville had nothing to do with Superman Returns.

Thankfully, K-DoG7p7 has a solution:

So.. the JLA movie is back on track and start shooting the first week in May. Yet not a singel fan of the characters are enjoying the news.. the closes i have yet to hear is “Ohh a JLA movie that nice.. but….” there is always a but…
Like setting the movie in an alternate universe then the other DC movies being made at the same time!, New actors for part that are already filled by other actors..Brandon Ruth is Superman, Christan Bale is Batman.. get it in to your heads!!
Riding the PC train to death by using John Stewart.. even worse is the fact that there is a GL movie coming about Hal..

Now if WB really wants a JLA movie and really want to NOT use the actors already playing the parts.. then I have a really easy solution..

MAKE ‘KINGDOM COME‘!!

you get all the major characters..
you get a good reason to cast different actors (as superman and batman are quite a bit older)
you get a larger cast and get to show off more of the DCU
you get to show the fans the true difference between Supeman and Batman..
Also…

Superman vs Captain Marvel!

so please WB.. can the JLA movie and make Kingdom Come instead!

That’s right – cast aside the youth-oriented summer blockbuster you’re making and instead use one of the most continuity-dependent comics in the history of the medium as the basis for a film where Superman creates gulags for his enemies, Batman’s turned Gotham into a fascist state, and Wonder Woman looks like the least successful M2F ever.

The whole thread’s pretty golden, so make sure you click over. Thanks to Jeff at Conditional Axe for pointing this out!



I wish Mark Millar was not so cocky and has thise “buy my comics” attitude because they are so so so so so good.


by Kevin Church

So there’s a poll on Newsarama asking people What person has ruined more comics than any other, and the responses already in place seem to indicate that this is going to be fun. You’ll want to check back with it, but here’s the highlights I’ve come across so far.

Grievous has some of the most… unique capitalization I’ve seen:

Fortunately I can’t say any of the above have ruined any comics for me.I wish Mark Millar was not so cocky and has thise “buy my comics” attitude because they are so so so so so good.

Dan Didio is the reason I got back into comics, Ever since Identity Crisis I have being compelled by most of the projects,crossovers and new books in the DCU, doesn’t mean I think everything is classic,

jeph Loeb is hit or miss for me, I loved Hush and his colour Books but some of his writing comes off very hokey and pedestrian.

Joe Q is doing Great business for marvel, Controversy sells, You have got to hand it to the man, he is making the Dollars for marvel, that being said I would not touch Brand new day with a barge pole.

Judd winick is decent writer, who makes silly ideas every now and then :(

And if his quirky, arty use of the shift key isn’t enough for you, there’s the sudden lapse to Bizarro speak here:

Funny thing, I have never read a bruce jones issue ever,You am half tempted to buy the first issue of the war that time forgot, but then again I probably won’t bother.

As always, my favorite comments are when somebody takes a normal, defensible position such as “I think Alex Ross should be more aware of his high profile” and transmogrify it into the sort of rhetoric that would appear spew from the piehole of Glenn Beck:

Alex Ross is the most contemptible piece of crap to ever express interest in the genre, and does nothing but embarass himself, by acting like the spoiled, overhyped diva he is.

It looks like you’re not going to be on Alvatron’s Christmas card list, Mr. Ross. Try to console yourself with the hundred dollar bills stuffed into your pillow.



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