A humorous, informative, true story about a preacher and his family’s adventures with their pet crow.


by evilolive

One of the most terrifying areas of self-publishing is books for kids, perhaps because the books are shorter and the audience younger would-be authors assume that self-publishing is a good idea.

Johnny and the Preacher

A humorous, informative, true story about a preacher and his family’s adventures with their pet crow.


Orelda and Corelda on Wall Street

Wall Street Books for Kids! Orelda and Corelda on Wall Street is a coloring story book for kids. This Wall Street book celebrates taking daughters to work day & the wonders of the Stock Exchange. Teaching kids about investing. Kids books about New York. Join these sisters in the heart of NY’s financial district when their father takes his daughters to work one day, They are surprised to learn that stocks are not the only thing traded on Wall Street. A fun introduction to investing for kids. For children ages 5-10.

Tisa Plays Guitar and Strange Things Happen

When Tisa plays guitar with kids, strange things happen. Let’s call them MAGICAL things.

I don’t want strange things happening near my kids, accompanied by a guitar or not.

Child and Youth Reiki Program: Mount Kurama and the Emerald Lake

Mount Kurama and the Emerald Lake is a Child and Youth Reiki Program, with Mythological Reiki Tales to help Children and Youth become empowered. This Reiki program is intended to provide the young person with a healthy and fun tool for self-care and self-acceptance, leading to personal empowerment. Reiki is a conscious life force energy shared through the hands that provides individuals, through gentle and appropriate touch, with a sense of calm and balance. Within this book are two stories told through the eyes of a young adventurer, Lolly Walker, who discovers she can share the Reiki through her. She only need believe!


Johnny Profit

“Johnny Profit” is a story about a man who rescues a small village from the drudgery of poverty through his profit making powers. In a world where farmers turn soil with their hands, Johnny’s “digger” lifts them from their knees and returns many hours each day to their lives. This simple tool and Johnny’s unique concept of “honest deal making” spark an amazing Renaissance that changes life in Kimor forever.


TWEETADOPPLIN: Fozzi Fairy-Catcher’s Secrets

There is no main character but each story highlights one of the inhabitants of the city of Tweetadopplin. With names like Maria Fly-Feeder, Todd Tiger-Spitter and Chi-Chi Fudge-Bubbler, you can imagine how much fun the reader will have following them throughout their daily activities.


Lady Megan’s Mission

A Phenomenally Phased, Frivolously Factual, Frolicking Fantastic, Funny Facetious Fable Featuring Finicky Foibles and Fictitious Fantasies From a Fabulous Family Ferociously Fighting Foreigners For Freedom Forever



***Contains mild to moderate spanking***


by evilolive

All self-published books are potentially terrifying, but there is a special sort of horror evoked by the self-published romance novel. Lulu seems to specialize in the spanking subgenre of romance novel.

Respectable Wife by Vicki Blue
“Rancher Jakob Kittler doesn’t demand much of his pretty blonde wife other than obedience. But obeying Jakob easier said than done for headstrong Nora Kittler, who has her own ideas about what is an isn’t
fair. Set on a quiet Western farmstead, A Respectable Wife follows the story of a woman whose strong will often results in a husband being forced to apply a strong hand - right to her naughty
backside.

Priceless Love II - Love’s Possession
by Carolyn Faulkner
Nothing in her genteel, impoverished life could have prepared her for this. Orphaned, penniless, and growing more desperate by the minute, Mary Stiers found herself in the not-quite-wild West, bound to marry the author of the mail-order-bride ad to which she’d responded. Whatever fantasies Mary had had about Kit Jackson – or about any man, for that matter – were shattered by his deeply annoying – and
annoyingly attractive – demeanor. While she tried to help him eek out a living on his barely sustainable ranch, she found herself spending at least as much time worrying about ending up either held
devastatingly close by those muscular arms of his, or, to her complete horror, over his lap, getting the spanking of a lifetime.

Chronicles of Angelcynn Series
by Leah Kelley
King Alfred has a plan to bring his kingdom together through marriage alliances so they might stand united against the invading Danes. But when his plans go awry, does it mean the devil is fighting against him
or God is fighting for him? Includes Erik of Falconhearst, Braden of Draigmere, and Torin of Cumberwulf. ***Contains mild to moderate spanking***

Mr. Right Hand: MF Spanking Romance Novel
by Kiki Faran
Mr. Right Hand: An MF Spanking Romance Novel by Kiki Faran. Crass tongued, garbage-picking rape survivor, Charlene Spencer, has sworn off men forever. That is, until an accident of fate steers her
directly over the knees of the charming, sophisticated and heavy handed Mr. Right! Jacob Silver, the sexy cop who turns her entire life upside down, captivates her heart, mind, soul and backside, and a
sizzling spanking romance develops. But can she let go and let herself love the only man who’d ever stood up to her? Can she live with his strict rules and the consequences for breaking them? Can she live
without his spankings? Can two people from completely different worlds ever make it to happily ever after? Find out in this MF spanking romance novel that’s sure to tickle your funny bone and warm your
heart . . . and/or your buns!



Cliffs notes please-preferably G-rated


by Ted Grant

A furor has been stirred up over a school in Illinois assigning the play Angels in America as a reading assignment for high-school students.

Let’s see how one web-sites reader’s respond:

Abolish government schools. Let parents decide whether their kids are subjected to this tripe.

Christians, look at what a couple of the pornography apologists in this thread have said already. Not only is there no acknowledgement whatsoever that parents may have legitimate complaints here, they’re *advocating* the disputed material. What would compromise look like to these people?

the time has come for serious Christians to mount a full bore effort to do away with American public schools, which by any standard, including the appropriateness of literature, has become a bureaucratic albatross with a lack of rigorous curriculum and at best mediocre students.

Let the gay advocates fund their own private schools, and the Christians theirs. Basically, as it now is the American schools are infested with teachers like Scroop Moth who are consciously involved in polluting young minds with hard-edged liberal secularism.

this is akin to sexual exploitation of CHILDREN, yes, CHILDREN (even in High School). I’ve had it with the overstimulation and sexualization of kids. This is not “cultural enlightenment” but, rather, cultural debasement of our young people at a time when they need anything BUT.

This is more of the same: disturbing and disgusting indoctrination.

And, Harrison, while I agree with the net-thrust of your point, I still believe it is important NEVER to concede ground on of safe and normal heterosexual behavior. Yes, it is unpopular. Yes, it makes me (to the popular culture)a “bigot” but, really, we cannot forget the design in human kind which is wholesale being discarded with steamroller efficiency. No matter how many times they attempt to brainwash the next generation of public school children, it isn’t right behavior…it is sinful, it is unsafe, it is shame-producing and death-resulting. Lust is not love and every inclination of the heart and whim of the will should NOT NOT NOT be followed, no matter how intoxicating.

The gayness is an issue.

What’s wrong with “innocence”? I’m 40 years old, and I still strive for innocence of evil. I’d never read this book. (I’d skim if it I were on the school board or otherwise had a reason to need to read it. As a regular citizen, I don’t need to read it, and shan’t.) Years ago I picked up The Color Purple. I knew little about it except that it was considered quality literature about the black experience. Somewhere into it, I thought, Is this going where I think it’s going? (Hints of lesbian sex.) I read a little more, and it clearly was. Now, I rarely, rarely start a book and don’t finish it, even if I don’t like it. That book didn’t get finished. Why? I’m an adult, but I value my innocence.

I don’t believe that parents who take a strong stand against OR love their kids can stand by and watch . . corrupt literature, sexual training within schools, be it homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, or training kids ‘how’ to have sex can keep their kids in public school.

Even in High School there is no need for this explicit education into various forms of sex, or choices, etc.

The liberal ideas of nonsensical teachers and administrators have gone so far, most can’t remember (back when I was a kid) when parents were the controlling factor in their child’s education. . . when parents wouldn’t stand for anything even remotely resembling this sort of pornographic so called ‘literature’- I’m sure there are the mindless, who claim “how can you judge literature”, well it sure doesn’t take a great mind to see that what has been posted as a TOPIC is trash.

Are the teachers in our public schools so undereducated, and deluded by their own sexual perversion that they have to foist it on the rest of us? Is this world so lacking in ‘REAL LITERATURE’ or do we need to fill in the gaps with trash.

My question is “WHY would any thinking, educated person call this ‘literature’? How obtuse can one be?



a novel about the wasteland of emotion that broken love can wreak upon an individual


by evilolive

Etsy can be used to buy some cool crafty items, but it is also a source of rather terrifying self-published books:

I don’t want to know why the turtles are fishing in Hooky Holiday

THIS IS MY OWN CHILDREN’S BOOK HOOKY HOLIDAY EACH BOOK WILL BE SIGNED AND DATED INSCRIPTIONS CAN BE ADDED AT TIME OF PURCHASE..I WILL ALSO ADD AN ORIGINAL DRAWING WITH AUTOGRAPH….

No one needs suggestions for puns about sheep

Falling

at the heart of my heart, im a writer. this book took me 3 years to write and i loved every minute of the process.

“Falling” is an urban fiction novel set during a Montreal winter. The book deals with the complete destruction an introverted photographer named Severen experiences when hes left by his drug-addicted girlfriend. “Falling” is first and foremost a novel about the wasteland of emotion that broken love can wreak upon an individual. It’s also a novel about the delusions, mental chaos, denial, and drug abuse that can happen when a person chooses to avoid pain by losing themselves in another person.
Written from an emotional male point of view, the elements of sex and drugs aren’t only gratuitous; you follow Severen as he grasps for anything to avoid fully dealing with having to feel the pain of ended love.

A Call to Arms:

As the next ruler of Leldyna, Rae must continue to learn all she can about her homeland. Time flies by as she tours the land to meet the inhabitants. Upon her return a shock greets her in the form of an old law, marriage or disownment. Wary of the choices selected by the Council, Rae agrees. Another surprise awaits her then in the form of an old friend. Can Rae do what she needs without losing herself to her obligations or will she have to leave it all? Just when she thinks it’s over another worse situation develops: pirates!



Aliens as Opposed to Babysitters


by Charlie Bebattica

Few people in recent memory have devoted themselves to the popularization of the wonders of science as late astronomer Carl Sagan had during his lifetime. His 1997 book, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark, is an exceptional work which advocates reasoned critical thinking over the banalities of psuedo-science. Unlike many of his peers in the skeptical set, Sagan didn’t chide, browbeat, or indulge in snide condescention; he understood mankind’s intrinsic hunger for answers, and attempted to demonstrate why the scientific method is crucial for understanding the world around us.

Not everyone agrees, of course. Of the (presently) 377 Amazon.com customer reviews of the book, 271 give The Demon-Haunted World the maximum five-star rating while 14 give it just one. Here are a few telling excerpts from the one-star review crowd:

He has always been very superficial when criticizing the so called “pseudosciences”, a term that, by the very way he uses it, only shows how his outlook on Science and on human Knowledge is short-sighted. Sagan sees Science as the supreme method for looking at and for understanding the Universe we live in, looking with despise on other ways of understanding reality (presently, I prefer to see Science as just one out of many different ways of grasping Nature’s mysteries).

I myself like to look at the Universe with my head tilted 45 degrees to the left.

It amazes me that this book is so extravagantly over praised. It really is a dull, creaky, moldy hymn to the belief that science can substitute for religion. Wrong. In a materialist universe, nihilism is the only point of view justified by the facts and the only objection to even crimes against humanity such as genocide is that you don’t personally like it (as Bertrand Russell admitted).

In other words, “Without my unquestioned faith, there would be nothing to keep me from going on a mass murder spree.” In that case, what can I say but “YAY, DOGMATIC ZEALOTRY” (and check to see if Kevlar vests qualify for super saver shipping rates).

I find myself perplexed at Sagan’s utter lack of consideration for the area thru which matter-science and spirit are interoperative. One example is his comment regarding abduction scenarios and why aliens never are “caught” by house alarms hooked to cameras and the like. I mean, I thought we were talking about alien phenomena, not the babysitter or neighborhood crook.

Unless your babysitter or neighborhood crook happens to be Gorthan from Rigel-Prime, trying to pick up some extra solar credits in between his usual gig of dispensing 50’s sci-fi movie clichés and anal probes…

To paraphrase Epicurus: I spit on science and all those who worship it if it does not make us happier. Sagan and all the members of the Church of the Scientific Inquisition need to justify every scientific discovery with an affirmative answer to the following: Will knowing this increase human happiness? If the answer is negative (as it clearly is for such things as the ability to manufacture bio-terrorist weapons) then let us bury that scientific discovery and be done with it. Sagan and his other scientism buddies worship science for its own sake. We need to judge everything according to whether it makes us happier or not. Once you make something other than human happiness be the criterion for what is good or bad, you have disengaged yourself from the species and are an enemy of mankind. If science helps-great! If it unleashes tools and weapons that no one can control-to the trash heap it must go!!

Using internet technology to pass vulgar utilitarian rants off as book reviews? Not increasing human happiness, I’m afraid. The trash heap is that way, compadre.

He must take us all to be dumb, inbred, crud breeders. To him we must be too dumb to tell a UFO from swamp gas or bigfoot from a guy in a costume.

Just a little defensive, eh?

What can I say,
The Devil is preety good at covering stuff up. He uses even the best Scientist and astronomers to crush anything spiritual.

Of coarse this book is garbage and I suggest that everyone who likes this book to please take yourself and your scientific thinking out of the box.

In the next coming years people you are gonna see some serious evil spirtual activity and because you have polluted yourselves with closing your mind of to it, you won’t know or be ready for the things that are going to occur.

Get thee behind me, rudimentary syntax and grammar skills — I WILL NOT BE PUT IN A BOX AND POLLUTED!