Bad Vampire Poetry


by evilolive

Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series of books has often been called “The Next Harry Potter”. With a movie in production, Twilight fans are in a frenzy and much like Harry Potter, all that energy is being used to create fanfic and poetry.
In the Twilight books the heroine Bella is the focus of affection for Edward (an incredibly handsome vampire) and Jacob (an incredibly handsome Native American werewolf). Fans love to debate who she will end up with. Let’s sit back and be transported through poetry:

Without You
Topaz eyes so soft and sweet
Life without you is incomplete.
You left me there in the wood
You said it was for my own damn good.
You swore that you loved me with all of your heart
But then you just went and tore it apart.
You might as well have sucked me dry
….
I can’t love Mike or even Jake
For then I’d be lying knowing that love is all fake.
So bring me my heart so I can breathe air
Bring yourself back too and make it fair.
I need you now more than ever before
You are the apple of my core.
You are the trunk of my stable tree
Edward Cullen please bite me.


She is Gone

I wonder if she’ll ever come back
Will she become my enemy?
Or will she stay as she is?
She gets up from my bed
Is that her last look?
The door closes
My eyes sting
She is
Gone

Meadow Poem

The beauty of the moment, oh so rare
Sinking in its breathtaking flair

And as they sat there, vowing their love
The sun was glistening from above
The wind echoed the promises they made
Blowing away their supposed fate

The predator fell, so hard, so deep
For his prey, the trusting sheep
And the lamb, with beating heart
Told him she never wanted ever to part

From him, this moment, his cold skin
His venom breath, the sweetest sin,
She craved to be close, he needed to be
But her blood wanted his senses free

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3 Comments

  1. One of my students told me that these were “the best books ever.”

    I didn’t think it was possible, but these poems make me want to read them even less than that endorsement did.

    #1 Jeff

  2. I’m actually in the middle of “Twilight” right now. It’s pretty good, though clearly aimed at the bad poetry writing middle schooler demographic.

    #2 Steven Padnick

  3. I liked the first couple books very much, but I thought the author started writing her own bad fan fiction for the third book in the series.

    #3 evilolive

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