• Published:March 20th, 2008
• Comments:No Comment
• Category:The Crazy

Now, Stephen King is a bit of a controversial figure in the realm of American literature. He’s very, very popular and writes a lot of horror and genre fiction, so the snobs tend to look down on him. I’m sure if you’ve read his stuff you might have some issues with his writing as I do, but did you know his atrocities go beyond merely rewriting the first Dark Tower book? Continue on, dear reader, if you dare…

Contrary to all reports about a lone drifter named Mark David Chapman who allegedly shot John Lennon in the back December 8, 1980 you’ll find ample evidence in the back issues of Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report magazines to suggest otherwise. Namely, that John Lennon was, not only politically assassinated, but that Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and, you’d better sit down, horror novelist Stephen King are the three people who can be proven guilty of the crime. King being the real murderer and Chapman but a look-alike, paid actor misleading you with an absolute hoax, the media in tow.

Yes, proven. Our fearless detective, Steve Lightfoot, immediately figured out that the “story” about John Lennon’s assassination was really just that: a story. And I do mean immediately (please forgive the long quotes, he doesn’t write in any other way):

I then turned to the issues of Time and Newsweek and simultaniously noticed that there was no murder
report in the Dec. 15 issues as they were released Dec. 08, the day of the murder. I also noticed that most of the bold print headlines read like a code about John’s assassination. In Time, for example: ” …Watching civilization slide into barbarism and banality…All The President’s Magazines…Death Trail….Doubletalk…Silencing An Almost Free Press…Jailing The News…The F.B.I.’s Show Of Shows…Unholy Ministry…A Gambler’s Luck Runs Out…Death Comes From The Prime Minister… Defiant Widow In The Dock…”Who’s In?”"Who’s Out?…Fitting together the pieces of a complicated jigsaw puzzle…”
It was the ominous headline “Who’s In?”"Who’s Out?” above just elected Ronald Reagan that made my heart sink. After all Reagan was’in’ and Lennon was ‘out’. I then noticed the smaller headline below the photo “Fitting together the pieces of a complicated jigsaw puzzle…” as well as the fact that Richard Nixon’s book The Real War was in the foreground of the picture at Reagan’s right hand side. I pulled that book off the shelf and, literally, opened right to the page where Nixon writes: “The ‘Trendies’…who say ‘war’ is ‘bad’ and ‘peace’ is ‘good’…must be removed from the stage of public debate…by whatever means…a flyswatter…are needed…”
I felt I had just stumbled, indeed, onto government codes about John’s death hidden in the headlines of Time magazine.

Yes, government codes. Lots and lots of them.

A cruel man might point to this and say, okay, here is a guy who seriously just needs to step away from his computer and take a walk. That same cruel man might look at this random assortment of “proof” and see a mind so deeply entrenched in paranoia that it’s more worthy of pity than scorn. Or that cruel man might say that Steve Lightfoot is pure, distilled, plutonium-enriched weapons-grade crazy.

But I am not that man.