In advance, I am apologizing. Yes, here I am with yet another post about commenters over at Philly.com. You see, there have been severe cutbacks at Churchco Global Worldwide Entertainment Concerns, Ltd. (the parent company of Get Off the Internet) and I’m pretty much the only guy who comes into the office occasionally, to make sure the thieving bastards from the law office upstairs have not broken in to steal the copier and assorted office equipment. Add to this my rather limited skillset for covering these things, this is what you get. Also, it is free, so there you go.

Okay- unpleasantness out of the way. Philadelphia jazz vocalist S. Denise King is suing a local hospital, claiming that “shocking sensations” during an MRI scan in 2008 have left her without the ability to remember any new music. She is seeking $50 grand in damages. Something for the courts to decide, but that can take months or years! BORINNNNGGGGG. Let’s turn it over to the Court of Public Opinion!

Jerryk2b tries to start things off with a joke-

Is the attorney with the firm “How Dowe cheatem” or “Dowe Cheatem & Howe”?

So very, very close. This is the internet- surely, there must be someone out there waiting to help with this old chestnut?

Jerry…….that would be the lawfirm of “Dewey, Cheatem & Howe” Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

Pretty good, but that’s not “internet helping.”

jerryk2b – it’s “Dewey”, dummy.

There we go!

Her bookings must be down. She is losing her “short term memory”, but remembers every iota of information aboutthe MRI. Go figure. Just another attempt at a cheap payday.

I got’s me a case….typical

Huh- that’s not a direct quote from the story. I wonder why they wrote it like that?

Its gottsta be someones fault, certainly can’t be this Nubian goddess’s.

i love black people,show me the money.

See? Subtlety is for the weak!

This has “scam” written all over it.

Has anyone actually heard this singer perform? I have and, frankly, I can understand why she went to this length to gain some notoriety.

Singing the blues while eyeing the green. Shocking!

She needed the MRI to plan treatment after she ate a hand grenade.

Would the comments be different if it were Taylor Swift!

Maybe they told her it was an MRI but it was really electroshock therapy?

when sales go down lawsuits go up

theBIGKAT, yeah the comments would be different if the singer was someone famous like Taylor Swift or Beyonce. Nice bait though.

another Fat American

Sorry Kingsy, “Money For Nothing” has already been done by Dire Straits…

Case closed!



So- I get in this morning, fire up the ol’ Twitter-reading machine and there’s a post from Mr. Dan McQuade-

Philly.com: “Racoons and bats and other critters are on the loose!” First Philly.com commenter: “I hate black people!”

“Why,” I think to myself, “that can’t be right! Even over there, at Philly.com! Young Dan must certainly be engaging in some sort of wild hyperbole!”

Let’s just go over to the article and see!

Raccoons, bats, possums: It’s Critter City

ROBINSON STREET above Lansdowne Avenue, in Overbrook, is under siege.

Raccoons, among a burgeoning population of wildlife that infests much of the city, are so audacious on the street that they’re trying to get in people’s windows.

At least that’s the way it seems to worried residents.

How- HOW could anyone possibly be able to take that and turn it around into a racist comment? Let alone in the very first post?

Now, I’m not saying it can’t be done, but it would require such herculean racist internet commenting skill that it would be beyond even the reach of the a skilled Philly.com commenter- and this is a very capable bunch in that area, I can assure you!

Alright, let’s just see this supposed racist first comm-

gobirds556
at least these “pests” do not steal taxpayer money while supposedly heading a government agency. they do not kill each other over drugs or $5. all those scumbags should be euthanized. what do animals do other then just try to survive? Leave them alone.

Oh. Well. It would appear that I have underestimated the skills of Philly.com commenters. I offer my deepest apologies. I can assure you that it won’t happen again.

Also, bonus points for being both an Eagles fan and wanting to murder! Bravo, (I’m assuming) sir!




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