Just another example of Can’t Understand Normal Thinking


by pico -d gallo

A mechanic who was working on a commuter jet inadvertently started the engine at full power, and the jet crashed into two others in the same hanger. Although the jets sustained a lot of damage, no one was injured. From the way it sounds, the mechanic wasn’t to blame; experts seem to think that the aircraft wasn’t properly shut down for maintenance by the ground crew.

But heck, that’s not what we’re here for. Because, you see, the mechanic? It was a woman. And therefore, we know who and what is really to blame:

“mike” starts the show:

another example of the fine job women do in the workplace… i’ll bet she cried for equil pay too

“SHORTY” smells a conspiracy, loudly:

IF THEY COULD ONLY HAVE MOVED THE BUSES THAT QUICKLY
FOR KATRINA.

YOU GOT IT. HOW OLD WAS THE PLANE AND
HOW OLD WERE THE OTHER TWO. THE AIRLINES HAVE A
WONDERFUL ACCOUNTING DEAL WITH THE IRS. THEY PROJECT
THE NUMBER OF HOURS THE PLANE WILL FLY. ESTIMATE
THE FUTURE REPAIRS AND MAINTENACE. THEY THEN DEPRECIATE
ALL FUTURE COST IN TODAYS DOLLARS. DOES THE TERM DEPRECIATION RECAPTURE ON SECTION 1245 PROPERTY RING
ANY BELLS.

EVER SEE THE WORDS DEFERDED FEDERAL INCOME TAX.
THEY CALL IT A TIMING DIFFERENCE. CARRIED AS AN ASSET
ON THE BALANCE SHEET. DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE.
IS IT REALLY A CURRENT ASSET THAT AFFECTS THE QUICK RATIO?

IF YOUR GOING TO BUY AIRLINE STOCK MAKE SURE IT’S SOUTH WEST.

Although some folks call foul on the poor reporting in this version of the story, “Buzz” is here to put us back on task:

I got this one. She was pretending to fly the aircraft, it turned her on so much. When she stretched her legs out in orgasm she hit the wrong button. The controls were still active from her pretend time earlier. ;o)

“Jeff” goes straight to the source of the problem:

Another empty kitchen……………….

“John Casy” takes time out from being a 30’s P.I. to comment:

Just another dumb broad doing her thing… Should not let broads work or be near airliners…

Another “Mike” puts “cleaning” and “woman” together:

I bet that the switch wasn’t written in spanish. “Don’t push this cuz it will cause the plane to start and taxi into anything in its path”

“Darkenwyck” continues the stellar reporting:

Have any of you actually read the article? It says she died in the accident.

You can’t put one over on “BOB”:

PUSH ONE BUTTON IF IT WAS THAT EASY WE’D HAVE PLANES ALL OVER THE PLACE

“Ed” provides Comedy Gold by quoting lines from “Airplane!” that don’t correspond to the situation at all.

(Not quoted here. We’ve all seen the movie.)

“Tracy” feels that an important detail was missing from the story:

Was she black?

Another “mike” steps up with this clever wordplay. GEDDIT?

Just another example of Can’t Understand Normal Thinking

“Anthony” envisions an even worse scenario!

Thank God it wasn’t the doomsday button she pushed.

And finally, “Rob” asks us all to be calm and rational about this:

Well now . . . it is very true that there are both men and women that should not be working around airplanes. Incompetence is and equal opportunity malady.

Now, here’s the difference: Incompetent men are not educated, hired, and promoted to positions where they can inflict that much damage. However, incompetent women are educated, hired, and promoted all the time, because affirmative action forces schools to admit them and employers to increase the numbers of women (and minorities) in the workforce — even in cases where competent women are simply not available. Now, in some disciplines, this may not a problem, because the typical woman is as good (or even better) than the typical man is (which might help explain why more than 95% of RNs are women).

But in certain areas like engineering and mechanics, let’s just be real — it is not a strong suit for women. Sure, you can point to a handful of women who can do it (just like you can find a handful of men who are good at being nurses), but for the most part, female mechanics and engineers exist because affirmative action programs have forced universities to admit them and companies to hire, train, and promote them. Imagine what a disaster area your local hospital would be if affirmative action was forced upon universities such that 50% of nursing students were female, and then the hospitals were REQUIRED to hire and promote them. Me thinks it would be a huge disaster looking for a place to happen . . . as was the case with the lady mechanic on the airplane.

You think I’m crazy? OK, fine . . . try naming me five significant engineering or mechanical innovations that have as their principal architect, a woman (without using google). Can you even name three? one?



“The more companies and management treat their administration like dirt, the more problems like this will arise.”


by Kevin Church

A Wired article about San Francisco’s network being hacked by a vindictive ex-employee features a litany of offenses by sysadmins who have wrought havoc upon their former workplaces, including someone deleting a database used for matching organ donors to patients and an Australian fellow who hacked a sewage plant and flooded local rivers and parks with hundreds of thousands of gallons of filthy water. This has, of course, brought out those on both sides of the “You know, my IT guy is kind of a dickbag” issue.

The gems, of course, all come from the guys that make sure your business functions well in between marathon sessions of WoW and Mountain Dew Code Red runs.

This is just bullshit….The companies that fire their employees after a year of employment ask for it…it is so simple…don’t hire someone if you want to fire him/her afterwards….Japanese are smart….after all the yellow race is the superior than others…
It is simple…..we lost !

This is why it is so critical that management handle their tech personnel carefully. If you need to let one of them go, for whatever reason, it’s not a good idea to make it a public event or a heated argument. It only takes a knowledgeable tech a mere minute or two to initiate an attack that will severely cripple the business.

It’s generally a good rule of thumb to not talk down to your local tech during any period of their employment. That will only guarantee you poor and slow service when you need it and will make that techs termination even more potentially hazardous.

So if you like to be the hardass boss to the employees in your charge, tone it down for the techs. Treat us with kindness and you’ll reap the benefits!

I’m amazed at some of the HUGE sentences handed down for mostly “irritating, not life-threatening” crimes. Even some killers don’t get 97 months jail, and it was only a s**t Banking Institution!! Somebody must have been REALLY pi**ed off!

One last word for IT management, you’re only in control because us techs let you be because we like you and the way you treat us. Don’t cross us unless you want to lose your job too.

Its not the poor treatment of the employees that caused them to go off. Its their poor mental state that caused them to go off, most of us with the knowledge and ability to pull off such sabotage would never do it. We might think about it and fantasize about it but never actually go through with it..
NERDS RULE!!!

Here is a hint to resolve these common plagues from network admins…

Treat your administration with respect and as if they are actually valuable!

The more companies and management treat their administration like dirt, the more problems like this will arise.

Either that, or send the admin jobs to be outsourced in India. You think it’s hard understanding the guy from 7-11, try getting your password from him and understanding what he said.

If Corporate management would use just an ounce of respect, maybe things will be different. But since that will never happen, maybe you’ll think twice about treating your admins and engineers like the geek you kicked around in high school.

I would suggest that Terry Child is probably a disgruntled homosexual. This is the type of behavior you will see from such persons. Another example was the homosexual that blew up the turret on a navy ship after a falling out with another homosexual lover.

So, what have we learned? That IT guys are overbearing, loudmouthed whiners who don’t understand why people don’t like them? Or that companies need to have better procedures in place? Or is that the gays are always up to no good? U-DECIDE!



Best Week Ever steals our schtick.


by Kevin Church

And comes up with a gem. Just go read it. Wow.



Etsy Is Political


by evilolive

With tags like art, print, digital, political, obama, whiners, democrats, hypocrisy, easystreet studio sells photo montages of Barak and Michelle Obama.

You can demonstrate your pet’s political affiliation with a shih tzu dog for obama button or declare that you are Reppin’ for Obama, or enjoy some shrinky dink art of Obama with Mr. Potato Head.

Perhaps you would like a Liberal hand embroidered resin magnet or Bill Clinton earrings.

Or, you can cover your head with a Unique Doo Rag with Republican Print while dressing your baby in a John McCain pirate onesie. There is always the option of accessorizing with a scrabble tile McCain necklace. You can hang some Not George Bush Framed Embroidery on your wall.

Etsy! Something for everyone!



Poor innocent little Brainy had no idea how badly the two Superman’s wanted him. How much they loathed their tight outfits because of him, how they tossed and turned in bed at night because he wasn’t in there with them.


by evilolive


Desire

“Thank you Superman,” Brainy said looking up at his blue eyed hero.

Superman smiled down at Brainy, glad that he was able to save him in time, and that he could hold Brainy in his arms. He loved the feeling of being near him and holding him. Clark remembered when he saved a woman in the 21st century they would give him a kiss. He wished that Brainy would do that too.

Glaring down at the two, Superman X wished that Superman would stop holding Brainy so close.

“What are you going to do with the snake,” Lighting Lad asked, interrupting Superman X angry thoughts.


LoSH Doujinshi

“So, tell us your name and your superpowers.” said Cosmic Boy.

“My name is Mariah LeClaire,” she said, bowing politely, “and…uh…well…I don’t really know what my superpowers are.”

“You, don’t know what your powers are?” asked Lightning Lad, raising an eyebrow. Mariah shook her head in the negative.

“Well sorry, but if you don’t have any powers I’m afraid we ca-…”

Lightning Lad was interrupted by a very enthusiastic looking Chameleon Boy who, at that very moment, leapt towards Mariah, transforming into a huge beastly looking dog. Mariah gasped and, having no time to dodge, raised her hands up to offer some protection from the attack. After realizing a few seconds later that there was no impact, Mariah looked up.

“Whoa!” was the only sound she could utter. Without knowing it she had put up a force field. It glowed green with energy. Chameleon Boy growled and struck the force field a few times, with no luck. He pulled back as Mariah’s force field had faltered and disappeared. He took this opportunity to transform into a colossal snake. Hissing, he lunged after Mariah once more, ready to sink his fangs into her body. She shot her forward in desperation. Suddenly black sparks flew out of her hand encircling Chameleon Boy and forcing him to switch back to his original form. Everybody in the tribunal stood up, marveling Mariah’s apparently newfound powers.


Letters and Photographs

“B-but Brainy, we need you. I mean, where will you go? And whom can you turn to when you need help? W-will we ever see you again,” she whimpered. Brainy sighed, putting his other bag down, and held her in his arms. He was hurting her again. She had become his best friend and had stuck with him through thick and thin, even when she had lost her memory, she was there. She flung her arms around him and cried into his chest.

“I’m sorry, Vi. I-I’m sorry. It’s just the way things are,” he whispered, his hand stroking her black hair. She leaned upward to kiss his cheek. As her lips came in contact with his warm cheek, he remembered when that first mission that they were on together. He didn’t really like her at first. She was ignorant and so naïve. And he thought that her powers were useless. But yet, she proved him wrong after saving him from the destructo-bot that was holding him down with its hand. She then earns more respect from him after she had assisted him with Lightning lad’s surgery. And she did so much more for him.

She accompanied him to the spaceport and gave him one last hug before watching him aboard the star ship.

“I’ll miss you, Brainy,” she quietly said as she saw him wave goodbye to her from his window.

Ritual

“Well…all right. I’ll give it a try. Just because you’re my sister, and I love you.” Nura breathed deep, composed herself, and concentrated.

After a moment, her eyes flew open in shock. “Mysa, I saw…you and Dirk, making love!”

If it were possible, Mysa grew even paler than usual. “But…that isn’t…I’ve never…”

“What?” Nura stared at her sister, astonished. “Never?!”

“Some of us spent our lifetimes in study, Nura, not chasing the pleasure of flesh!” Mysa snapped, her shrill tone revealing her consternation.



Self-satire, but not as she intended.


by Ted Grant

Michelle Malkin is angry. Yes, I know, that’s pretty much her default state, but now she’s angry about someone else being angry. Specifically, she’s upset that former NAACP chairman Myrlie Evers-Williams was critical of the New Yorker’s recent “Obama as terrorist” cartoon. How the woman who got Dunkin’ Donuts to pull an ad campaign because she didn’t like the pattern on Rachel Ray’s scarf can accuse anyone else of needing to “grow a brain” is a philosophical question not appropriate to discuss here, because the real gem of a comment comes from one of Michell’s faithful followers, one “emjem24″:

I wanted to mention what a shame that people like this woman keep bringing up “lynching” and in the same way, do a disservice to the black community.

Many blacks paid for HER civil rights with their lives. Does she get that or are their deaths just so much more politically expedient for the joy of using that word like some self-fulfilling prophecy or something?

I wonder if all the family members of those who’ve been lynched would accept such “death politicization?” It’s really a shame.

One more thing, it must be so “hard” to be black like her. Accuse others of “lynching” when they criticize you or even immortalize you in a cartoon.

Oye Vay, Ms. Evers-Williams needs a new schtick ’cause this one’s gettin’ real old. Do you think she cares about the impact of illegal immigration in the black community?

For those not in the know, here’s an article about Ms. Evers-Williams deceased husband.

Yes, that’s right. The widow of slain civil rights activist Medgar Evers was just accused of not only being stupid, but of not appreciating the sacrifices those in the civil rights movement have paid.

So, are American conservatives just completely and utterly without any sense of shame or human decency, or hopelessly stupid?



La la la la la la la la la Katamari Fanfiction!


by evilolive

Proof that the fanfictioneers will use almost anything to inspire their creations, I bring you Katamari Fanfiction:

Hard Boiled Katamari and the End of the World:

Johnson picked up on it before I did, and I’m supposed to be the smart one. Was supposed to be the smart one. He just looked at me, with those eyes, the eyes of someone who’s seen their fate and knows how it’s going to end up. You see that a lot nowdays. He told me, “Tell Mari I love her.” and took out his gun, that silly little pistol. He’d never fired it before. He once told me, late at night, how he had once had to aim it at someone, and it had given him nightmares for a week.

He fired it now. And I swear that thing turned to face him, like a bull to a red flag. He kept firing, unloading all his bullets. Didn’t even make a scratch. Then it was on him and I saw the life crushed out of him under that thing, the lump of everything mankind had made, now turned against us.

I ran.


Why Tycho Quit Drinking

The King of All Cosmos stumbles home in the dark. It really is quite dark out, much darker than it should be. It’s a tad distressing, really, just how dark it is, but he can’t quite put his finger on why. Because his fingers are very, very big, and he is very, very drunk.

It had been a fantastic night out on the Universe. First, there was open mike night at the local bar. He’d strummed his guitar, composed a trio of adorable haiku, found a word that rhymed with orange, and then finished it all off with a rousing Tom Jones medley. The crowd went wild and he graciously blew kisses to his swooning fans, autographing whatever was handy — napkins, things you wear on your head, children.

Keeper Of The Bud

The small Prince walked up to his father, The King Of The Cosmos and craned his neck to look up. “Oh tiny Prince, I have a job for you.” He said. “More stars giant father with the big bulge?” The Prince asked. “No. I’m sending you to Earth to roll up…DRUGS!” He boomed.



Granted, I live in Alexandria & do not get to Arlington that much, but if I’m ever in their neighborhood & want coffee, I wont be going there


by CM

Boing Boing, Mecca of all small incidents blown way out of proportion, links to the story of an under-caffeinated fellow who takes umbrage at the posted policies of a local coffee shop and a particularly obstinate coffee-slave who seems destined for a life in the 9th level of the bureaucratic hell of government service. This post is not about that incident. This post is about the day the ENTIRE GODDAMNED INTERNET shared in that cup of coffee.

From the comments at the original post, by a person going by Heyheyhey:

this isn’t about coffee, this is about the barista doing his job the best he can and you totally disregarding the store policy and then proceeding to be a dick. that photo of the dollar you left speaks a ton about you. you’re an ass and i hope for the sake of the baristas at [coffee shop in question] you don’t go back.

Another commenter, apparently wedded to the sanctity of capitalism, responds:

This dude was RECEIVING MONEY to create a beverage that was apparently beneath him and his store’s policy (what happened to the customer is always right, folks?) and then had the AUDACITY to deny said beverage, potentially losing a customer and money, not to mention being a royal dick about it. Heyheyhey - you’re way out of line.

Lucky for us a fellow is there to jump in and link to his flickr page with a picture of the coffee shop policy, and the infamous dollar bill mentioned above:

I know you felt affronted by this, but there was a big sign saying what they wouldn’t do.

Also, your message to them now proudly hangs in their Hall of What Not To Do board at the register:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tbridge/2667261495/in/photostream/

On that flickr page are more comments (surprise!) from more people who want to drink deeply of such an infamous and vainglorious cup of coffee. For example, here’s a threat that carries deep and economically apocalyptic ramifications:

I will never patronize [coffee shop in question] with my business. Granted, I live in Alexandria & do not get to Arlington that much, but if I’m ever in their neighborhood & want coffee, I wont be going there.

Tremble at the power of this man’s dollar!

But most luckily for us, there’s a link in the flickr page comments to someone ELSE’S blog about this very same incident:

The behavior that caused this particular dollar to be written on was VERY rude and unprofessional. www.andiamnotlying.com… A different take on the same incident here www.welovedc.com… Snobbish people irritate the crap out of me, especially in customer service positions. The jerk is lucky he got a tip at all (other than “find a line of work where you don’t have to deal with people who offend you by wanting something you don’t approve of”).

welovedc.com backs up the original blogger’s version of events, and of course, there are more people who wish to indulge in such a pointlessly famous cup of coffee:

Straight espresso and the classic cappuccino are signature beverages at [coffee shop in question]. They don’t ice them, they don’t serve them to go. Saying no in these particular instances shows the pride they take in their work. It might cost them a few customers, but it helps build the company culture of being the most devoted to coffee quality in the DC area

And, what’s this? A few comments down, a link to the original post:

This entry on And I Am Not Lying may interest you.

Whereupon the original blogger notices the trackback and responds:

Hey man — I can freely admit I was being a dick. And I’ll even admit that sometimes I’m a barbarian that doesn’t appreciate the subtleties in things. But being a dick doesn’t start out of nowhere. Usually rotten customer service brings out the worst in people.

He goes on, adding nothing but fuel to this now coffee-soaked, orgiastic, incestuous, self-referential, internet camp-fire. That is, until he closes his comment like this:

And, dick or not, it’s still just coffee.

That’s right people, in the end it’s just a cup of coffee. A cup of coffee, incidentally, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE, WHATSOEVER.



This is not to say that BB should in any way be compared to, say, Stalin in other respects, but a purge is a purge.


by Kevin Church

it just came to light that the hyper-popular group blog BoingBoing deleted any and all posts linking to one Violet Blue, a proponent of “open source sex,” whatever the fuck that means. The reasons for this are Cory Doctorow, Xeni Jardin, David Pescovitz, and Mark Whateverthehell’s own. It’s their site to do with what they please. While some are just enjoying the mystery of “why,” (which may have to do this this article written by “Violet Blue,” in which she basically call Xeni Jardin’s friend Amanda Congdon a corporate shill), others are very, very concerned about the goings-on at a site that doesn’t belong to them. Of course, this set my GOTI-senses tingling and I went through the over six hojillion comments to find the ultimate piece of internet drama bullshit.

And here it is, courtesy of someone who calls themself “Pyros.”

For all those who say that this is a trivial matter, you are wrong.

I can see they doyens of corporate America and governments around the world breathing a sigh of relief. Boingboing did it, why can’t we? Yes, BB, like it or not, you are this influential. This could easily become the new mantra of redactors of every stripe. A very bad precedent has been set.

For those who say this isn’t an autocratic-like maneuver I ask, “how is it not?” When purges take place almost all of it is trivial bullshit. There is never enough time to find the smoking gun so it always best to use the scattershot method. This is not to say that BB should in any way be compared to, say, Stalin in other respects, but a purge is a purge.

Furthermore, I don’t expect any reasonable person to necessarily agree with my point of view. Reasonable people placate and abide. They smooth things over. Their goal is to arrange their world in such a way as to avoid any turbulence. Anyone who causes it, no matter their claim, has to be marginalized.

But I’m not trying to deny or even deprecate their important role within complex sphere of the social ecosystem, merely pointing out their limitations. They have their place in the world to be sure. As Shaw once wryly noted though, all progress depends upon the unreasonable man. Progress is a synonym for change, and change is a synonym for struggle. I can understand why some may not be inclined, but there is no other way of making the world a better place.

In this particular situation, the only dialogue of any importance will come from the unreasonables. It is their voice that we must generally listen to on matters of broad, rather than narrow social scope. The passifying reasonables (who are more expert within a more narrow social realm) should not be expected to contribute anything of relevance. They will only block progress and should therefore be ignored.

Given BBs actions, no reasonable person could advance a compelling argument that would have any truck with an unreasonable.


This is such sublime horseshit that I can’t help but think it might be parody, or some piece of internet performance art. I hope so, anyway. It’d be lovely if Pyros is actually on their porch right now, sipping lemonade and reading a copy of The Steampunk Guide To Disney, quietly bemused.