I’m cool with the gay thing just don’t touch my ass and stay 25 feet away from me.


by Ted Grant

The Consumerist brings us yet another story of corporate malfeasance, or at least less than adequate customer service which is, at best, a minor inconvenience, with the story of an XBox 360 owner who found his gamertag changed against his will because it contains the highly offensive word “gay” in it.

Let’s see how the always reasonable Consumerist readers react:

Try a gamer tag like BrokeBackMountaineer.

Two whole comments in, and we already get a Brokeback Mountain joke. How timely.

A child playing XBox live may not have parents that are ready to explain homosexuality, heterosexuality or any sex related topic yet.

Ten comments in before someone asks us to think of the children…

I too find the term “homophobic” offensive. It’s a convenient classification to demonize and lump together people who disagree with you, whether or not they have an irrational, pathological and psychological fear of homosexuals. It’s like calling someone a fascist when they exhibit no attributes of fascism: a convenient personal attack to confuse the issue.

Funny, isn’t it, how only homophobic people ever seem to be offended by the use of the word “homophobe.”

I’m constantly amazed at the fact that gay people feel the need to advertise their ‘gayness’ to anyone and everyone.

Noone feels the need to use the login “theHETEROgamer”.

Get over it and stop broadcasting your sexual preference like it’s a badge of honor…

Yes, gay people telling you they’re gay is “advertising their gayness.” Lord, how I’m tired of that argument…

The XBL TOS also says something about no sexual references in a gamertag and while you didnt say penislovinggamer, you did make a semi sexual reference.

Yes, because all being gay means is OH MY GOD I HUNGER FOR COCK! GIVE ME COCKS! COCKS COCKS COCKS!

Keep your sexual preferences to yourself, people. I’m sick and fucking tired of gay people wearing their gayness on their shirt sleeves as a badge of honor. You know what? I really don’t want to know how you like your sex. Do you see heterosexuals using monikers that mean, “I like to give it to my woman up the ass?” Hell no, because that would be offensive. Equally offensive is your compulsive desire to tell the world just how gay you are. Knock it the fuck off. Go home and be gay in the privacy of your own home, I support your right to fuck who you want, however you want it, just keep it to yourself, damnit.

“Look, you can be gay, all right. Just don’t be gay any time I’m around. Or might be around. Or might think about it.”



I was almost arrested for voting fraud in my wayward youth when I tried to vote for Clinton at age 15.


by Ted Grant

I honestly cannot tell if this is meant to be serious or not…

Yes it’s true that most eleven year-olds probably aren’t knowledgeable enough to make a well-informed choice about political candidates, but the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that most fifty year-olds aren’t very well-informed either. And yet, everyone gets to vote (and, of course, many people choose not to). Everyone, that is, except for that would-be eleven year-old voter.

An eleven year old cannot drive, drink, join the army, give blood, enter into a contract, have sex (in most states), get married (in most states) or work a forty hour a week job. But you want to let them vote?

I agree. I was almost arrested for voting fraud in my wayward youth when I tried to vote for Clinton at age 15. My own mother turned me in when she went to vote and saw my name on the list of eligible voters.

Yeah. Sure you did.

I can’t believe some of the stuff I’m reading. It’s a democratic right to vote, and lame arguments about how it won’t lead to the policies you want, or the average kid may be open to outside influences, do not override that. Everyone’s open to outside influences, and lots of voters are dumb and irrational. It’s simply much worse to NOT let some people vote (and their desires will be ignored) than it is to let some irrational people vote.

I think we should give computers the vote. But only Macs.

Oh, Lord, spare me the egos of Mac users…



Lulu: Please Don’t Self-Publish Your Autobiography


by evilolive

Madonna and Me: Misadventures of a would-be pop star

For twenty years singer/songwriter/bass-player Nikki Racklin sat poised on the fringes of the music industry, breathlessly expecting stardom to come calling. During this time, an intriguingly-named Italian-American singer dressed in sardonic baby doll lace went from obscurity to iconic status. This witty and amusing memoir charts Nikki’s odyssey and will resonate with anyone who’s ever had a dream.


I Fell in Love with a Con Man by Elizabeth Grzeszczyk

While on a business trip in Miami, Elizabeth Grzeszczyk meets a man who introduces himself as Dr. Jonathan Palmer, the former British Formula One Grand Prix race car driver. He quickly steals her heart, and her life becomes a whirlwind as she is swept up into his glamorous lifestyle. When Elizabeth discovers he is really an internationally wanted con man, Jonathan Nigel-Philip Kern, her life spirals downward. Determined not to let this man ruin her life, Elizabeth fights back. When she is transferred to work in Europe, she has the chance of a lifetime to testify against the con man in a Paris courtroom.

TO LIVE OR MAYBE NOT by Gary Revel

An authorized biographical work of Gary Revel. A Gary Revel book including details of his youth, early life, US Navy exploits, Music Business in Hollywood California-Nashville Tennessee as well as his 1977 investigation of the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. in association with the House Select Committee on Assassinations (HSCA). and more. The book is available here at LULU.COM as well as AMAZON.COM, TARGET.COM and other locations.


Brave- An American Vision Quest

” Brave stirred me in a way few books have. Its soul searching honesty made my pulse race and my palms sweaty. This book will wrestle you to the ground and leave you wondering what happened. But you will get up a much better person.” -says Paul from Rapid City, South Dakota. Are you brave enough to face your fears and live your dreams? Jarod Osborne’s vision quest was a journey of self-discovery that led him to the heart of poverty, doubt, devastation and courage. This true story will take you through the city, the wilderness, the boxing ring, the monastery, and finally to the end of the rainbow to discover a treasure worth more than gold!

Perhaps it is just me but if something wrestles me to the ground and leaves me wondering what happened, I don’t look at that as a positive experience.

Jen & the Art of Foot Seduction

JenSorel is one of the most compelling writers of foot fetish erotica.

If you’ve ever read her, you know. She has the ability to seize a reader and submerge them within the moments and the memories she chooses to recount. She writes about what she knows and, much to our delight, she knows feet. Her finest features and her voracious desires fuel many an escapade.

There’s no better way to say it than, “Everyone that meets Jennifer wants to get two feet closer.”

Now you can get two feet closer with “Jen & the Art of Foot Seduction.” It’s a must-read for anyone with a love for feet.

Scar Tissue

A woman going through emotional turmoil with more than her fair share of psychological and real life bumps in the road finds her only way to clear her head and maintain any level of sanity is artistic outlet. These are her memoirs, her poetry, her artwork, and the deepest, darkest inner workings of her mind when it’s at its worst. The journal entries and poetry in this book are vague so they can be left open to interpretation so that hopefully someday someone will pick up this book and feel a little less alone in the world, and perhaps just find some words of comfort that somewhere on this planet someone felt the same way.

We Are Not Alone: Mom, Dad, ET and Me: or, How I Grew Up To Be a Person Who Thinks Extraterrestrial Contact Matters

One of the personal peculiarities that drew my parents together was a shared love for chasing UFOs. This was the early Sixties, before the New Age had twisted the sport into an expensive tourist attraction. In their day, it took guts. There was no cruise director holding your hand, no air-conditioned tour bus to protect you from the blistering desert sun, no security guard to warn you when you were getting too close…

A squeal of tires as the open convertible veers from the pavement. A grinding moan as the engine adjusts to the floored accelerator. The steady clatter of rocks pelting the undercarriage, zinging up into the air as the car rockets across the open sand.

“Get a picture! Quick! Before it moves!”…



Etsy: Enough With the Steampunk


by evilolive

Steampunk provides a great excuse for artisans to wire old watch parts to random stuff and call it art. And sell it on Etsy.

Passage Pendant no. 45
Steampunk Coat Rack

Memento Mori, a wearable crown
Steampunk Bone Saw and Knife steel stainless steel victorian prop goth larp cosplay
Steampunk Study - Fringe of Time Victorian Necklace
Short Steampunk Flogger
UP TOWN GIRL Steampunk Handbag
Winged Key of the Empire (blue)



No commentary neccessary


by Ted Grant

The Pill Kills asks you to celebrate “Protest the Pill Day”.

June 7 marks the 43rd anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court decision Griswold v. Connecticut. This was the first of many decisions that led to the culture of death we live in today.

On that day in 1965, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on the Griswold v. Connecticut case, it set a legal precedent for claiming that the Constitution grants women the right to privacy in matters of sexual practice. This meant that Connecticut and the rest of the United States could not stop a married woman from obtaining birth control pills. However, as Judge Andrew Napolitano has pointed out, the constitutional right to privacy has nothing to do with birth control.

The plaintiff was Estelle Griswold, then executive director of the Planned Parenthood League of Connecticut. She and Dr. C. Lee Buxton opened a birth control clinic. They were arrested and fined for selling birth control pills, which was illegal in Connecticut. The case was pushed all the way to the Supreme Court. In other words, Planned Parenthood was breaking the law; yet it turned this case into a legal precedent for selling contraception. Because of the Griswold case and others that followed, unmarried women and teenagers were later permitted to obtain birth control pills.



GET OVER iT…NOT EVERY MOViE iS GONNA TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WANT iT


by Brought to you by Carl's, Jr.

So I’m browsing MovieWeb (for work, I swear!) and notice in the sidebar a list of “most commented-on threads,” which is always promising. Comments on movie websites are retard gold. The top one is for X-Men 4, which I guess is a thing?

So I investigate. The X-Men franchise had drastically diminishing returns, but stuff like “objective quality” doesn’t matter to the kind of people who post on message boards. They just want to make sure there are no nipples on the Batsuit and that Kitty Pryde says ONLY WHAT KITTY PRYDE WOULD SAY ACCORDING TO THEIR FAN FICTION.

First thing I see:

YOU GUYS ARE DUMB…GET OVER iT…NOT EVERY MOViE iS GONNA TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WANT iT…SO GET A LiFE…YOU PEOPLE THiNK THAT THE WHOLE MOViE BiZZ REVOLVES AROUND YOUR STANDARDS…WELL MAYBE THE DiRECTOR WAS AiMiNG FOR THE YOUNGER KiDS OR MAYBE THEY DiDN’T WANT TO COPY OFF OF THE COMiC BOOKS…iT MiGHT HAVE SET A LAW SUiT ON THEM…DUHH!! MAN YOU GUYS ARE SO DUMB…GET OVER iT iF YOU DONT LiKE THE WAY THiNGS ARE THEN STOP WATCHiNG THE MOViES!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what I always think when I see text like that? “Man, it takes a lot more work to type like an idiot than it does to type like a normal person.” Can you imagine training your brain to hit Shift every time you type “I” in your all-caps rant? That’s cerebral real estate that would be much better used memorizing, say, left-handed masturbators throughout history.

As it turns out, this is the latest post; MovieWeb lists the most recent post first because it is stupid and hates you. So I scrolled further down for some context. I did not find illumination.

Its so hard to be a comic book fan and watch any of these comic to film movies. There hasnt been one single comic book movie that was laid out excatly like the comics. Even spiderman 1 screwed it all up. The whole bridge scene was taken right out of the comic where Gwene Stacey fell and broke her neck when spider caught her with his web. I know they want to pack 50 years of comics into a 2 hour film, but at least have the directors read and do a little research on the characters and storyline. So I humor myself when I go out to watch these movies, and keep an open mind so I wont be so F*&kin disappointed all the time.

He’s not done.

Shit I HATE rubber suits…

OK, now he’s done. Three things:

1. I cannot take continuity judges seriously when they can’t even get character names right.
2. If you want to see the exact same story as the comic, just reread the damn comic.
3. Shut up.

Further down, some dude who uses a shirtless muscular guy doing push-ups as his avatar but is surely NOT gay pre-empts this line of thought with some reason:

Ive watched xmen3.. the story itself is negative.. if u r really a fan of xmen (comix,cartoon), knowing what they did to x1 and x2 will surely piss u off cuz they made their own crap story line.. but like what i said, u have 2 change ur point of view in watching these movies not as a basist from the comix, but as a viewer judging its movie’s genre 4 u 2 appreciate the verdict of the movie instead of complaining bout d comparison from d comix.. Singer did a good job as a director although unsatisfying to most of the readers but all in all it was a good movie.. but x3??

Sometimes it’s good to close on a question.



This is not an acceptable solution.


by Kevin Church

Earlier this week, Amazon opted to limit the length of a discussion thread. Reading their post, it’s obvious that this wasn’t done on a whim: people were reporting errors when attempting to access threads that were much longer than the software was built to handle. Amazon responded by announcing that they were creating a system that allowed discussions that were growing unwieldy to continue in a new location, with a link back to the previous parts of the conversation. Guess what the first comment was.

Uh-oh.. I hate these stupid long discussions (Thread without a Reason, Holiday Recipes).. but to limit them? Isn’t that a little like supressing freedom of speech?

Yes, that’s right! A company taking a measure that ensures more people get to participate in a discussion with a one-click inconvenience is First Amendment Assault. Then there’s this person, who obviously read the original post several times and weighed their options carefully before jumping in:

Great, we will now lose all the past posts. This is not an acceptable solution.

You know, back in the 30s and 40s there was another wrongheaded person who was all about a solution he was happy with.

Thankfully, “Dieting Deb” (once she reaches her weight loss goal, will she become Maintaining A Weight I’m Happy With Deb?) has a great alternative:

There are much better boards to post on than this one. QVC for instance, and no, you don’t have to watch or purchase from QVC to get into some rather good discussions, especially in the Viewpoints section.

Oh, Deb. Thank you for this.

Thanks to Tipster ADB for this post’s content!



The last 17 keyword searches to reach GetOffTheInternet.org


by Kevin Church

  1. get off the internet
  2. blind man in a dark room
  3. open source boob project
  4. students getting there tits groped
  5. lord of the flies jack not guilty
  6. slasher stage play
  7. dan fogelberg
  8. snuff porn
  9. her spanking was moderate
  10. did a movie ever get 10 stars on imdb
  11. lord of the flies that you can listen to
  12. girls boobs groped by men
  13. what brings simon pain in the lord of the flies
  14. mark of the beast mbta
  15. porno snuff torture
  16. i pledge allegiance to the hatchet of the underground society and to the ninja’s to which it stands one family under clowns full of freaks with faygo and neden for al
  17. tisa plays



Etsy: Ruining Pirates, Ninjas, and Zombies for everybody


by evilolive

If there’s one trend in crafting that annoys me, it is the hipsterization of handmade items. Slap a pirate, ninja, or zombie on a handmade item and try to sell it. Bonus points for incredibly high-priced items! Everybody’s doing it!

Pirates


Ninjas

Zombies



And left Churchill Downs/In a heavenly band/Of Angels


by RJ White

Last year, as you may recall, the sainted horse Barbaro was put down after a long illness. His fans reacted with restraint and a healthy dose of perspective. For a nice summary, here’s the Field Guide to Barbaro Message Board Factions .

This past weekend, tragedy struck the horse racing world once again, with the injury and subsequent euthanization of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby. Would Barbaro’s online fans at the Alex Brown Racing forums face the news with the same restraint and healthy dose of perspective?

Well, of course.

Kent, I too look forward to the day we’ll see these majestic champions together in Heaven. The Heavenly Herd just keeps growing….

Anger flares!

This is what nightmares are made of. Afterwards, these lady horses are forced to have sex with different men horses they don’t know that well so they can become pregnant only for their baby to be taken away is sad. I will never see the Kentucky Derby as a festive wonderful event. We need to respect these creatures. Judgement day will come for us.

Elsewhere, there is confusion -

Can we start candles.. where is the candle lady. I am not good at doing the candle link

Questioning of faith-

Am sitting here crying over this. Prayed all day that all horses would make it safe all day. Dont understand what happened.

Either prayer doesn’t work or god specifically does not like you.

I’m not sure, but I think 8 bells translates to 6:00, which would correspond to the time the Derby was run - God I hope not - how prophetic

ALSO THERE WERE SEVEN LETTERS IN KENNEDY’S NAME!

To all on this sad Sunday. Am enclosing a link here to watch a Dan Fogelberg tribute video to Barbaro that is very lovely and emotional. But as you listen to the words it applies to dear Eight Belles also.

Dan Fogelberg = healing balm. But speaking of beautiful, beautiful poetry, does anyone have anything they’d like to offer up ?

Eight Bells for Eight Belles

Sunday morning in Kentucky
The day after the Derby
The sun shines bright
On my Old Kentucky Home
But my heart is heavy
And my shoulders droop
Under the load I carry
The white country church
Stands in the valley
Church bells are ringing
On the eighth bell
I am sobbing
The tears finally
Unleashing
The bell tolls for thee
Eight Belles
My beautiful gray girl
You did
What the experts
Thought you couldn’t
You beat the boys
You ran the race
Of your life
And it took your life
You were big and strong and beautiful
And you were all girl…

Perhaps the saddest thing to come out of this is that Eight Belles won’t get nearly the acclaim or deification her predecessor in racing-aided horse death garnered, much like the way in which nobody cared when Shannon Hoon died so soon after Kurt Cobain killed himself.



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